


A Most Peculiar Girl

by SwiggityswagdatboiTed



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy and Lincoln are HUGE Dave Matthews fans, Clarke sings, Clexa, F/F, F/M, Finn is a jerk sorry, Football | Soccer Player Lexa (The 100), Homophobia, Inequality, Lexa likes Hamilton, Monty is an innocent cinnamon roll, Ontari ruins things, Past Character Death, Raven is best wing man, Shy lexa, So is Costia sorry, Soccer, Social Anxiety, Trigedasleng, past lexa/costia, so does Clarke, what nerds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-09-24 16:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 29,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9770288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwiggityswagdatboiTed/pseuds/SwiggityswagdatboiTed
Summary: Title is from the Simon and Garfunkle song "A Most Peculiar Man". Lexa got a soccer scholarship to the same college that her brother and cousin go to, to find out that she is also roommates with her soccer teammate. Everything's all good until Octavia's friends from her last school literally come crashing through the door. Sorry this summary sucks, hopefully the story is better.*On indefinite hiatus*





	1. Chapter 1

## Chapter 1

* * *

### Lexa P.O.V.

‘Come on, Lexa! You can do this! I think to myself as I run, panting, dribbling the ball in between my feet. I’m coming up on the goal, two opponents from the other team flanking me from both sides, and more coming up on me. I’m surrounded, I hear my teammates shouting to me for the ball, but I couldn’t risk passing it to them even if I wanted to. This is all up to me. I’m getting closer to the goal and get ready to make the shot. And I do. I kick the ball and watch as it speeds past the defense that had been blocking me before, unable to stop it as it whizzes past the goalie in the air and hitting the net of the goal. The ref blows his whistle and the fourth quarter is over. We won! 13-6, baby!

 I jog over to my team, snaking through them to get a drink from my water bottle as they clap me on the back. I twist off the lid and chug the whole thing, straightening up to see my uncle grinning proudly at me. His name is Gustus, and he just “happens” to be our coach. This has been one of our hardest games. Quite frankly, we hate the opposing team if I’m being frank, and the moment we found out we’d be going up against them we’ve been practicing non-stop. We wanted to best them, show them what we’re made of, especially since they tend to cheat in every game and somehow manage to get away with it. I mean, we don’t really have anything against most of the players, it’s just as a team do we hate them, even more so for me since their team captain is Costia Laine. My ex-girlfriend. I stare across the field to see that she is staring directly back at me and our eyes lock.

 “Hey! There she is! Polis high’s winning player! I’m so proud of you!” I’m pulled out of my head and break eye contact with her when I’m surprised by my brother, Lincoln coming up from behind me and lifting me by my waist, evoking a small ‘eep’ sound from me. He sets me down and ruffles me hair as I turn to face him with a huge smirk on his face.

 “Jok, Lincoln, don’t do that!” I say and playfully smack his arm. He rubs where I hit and fakes a look of pain before the smirk quickly returns to his face. Lincoln’s a pretty big guy, both in height and muscle. He’s around 6’11” and really buff, which works to his advantage since he’s on his college’s wrestling team. He’s tan like me and has a shaved head and light brown eyes. Unlike me where I have bright green eyes. I’m the only one in my family who does which is strange.

 “Aw, come on, it’s not every day I get to witness my baby sister in action, and watch her team win the final tournament of the year! I guarantee you’re gonna get a soccer scholarship. My baby girl’s growing up so fast.” He says sniffling and wiping fake tear from his eye. I roll my eyes.

 “Jok of.” I reply, giving him a special finger and walking away to the rest of my team. Anya, my cousin and Gustus’ daughter stands off to the side talking to his daughter so I let them be for a while. I go over to talk to Echo and Octavia Blake, transfer in the middle of the year from Arkadia high school, who is an amazing goalie. I know what that’s like, Lincoln and I transferred here from Azgeda high just last year, meaning we just played against my old high school. I don’t really know that much more about Octavia, pretty much that she just lives with her brother, and was practically raised by him and a friend’s parents. She moved here because it was easier for her brother to keep an eye on her. After a while of talking to them I look across the field again to see the other teams coach, Nia, berating them. I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore.

 I notice Roan, Nia’s son and assistant coach whispering to one of the team, but can’t see who because he’s blocking them. Once Nia’s done with her team I watch amused as they all release a relieved sigh. I feel kinda bad for them. I finally see who Roan was talking to as they walk side by side towards me. I smile and wave at them. Before I moved I was pretty good friends with Roan and the girl, Niylah, it’s just hard to stay in contact when I’m so busy with soccer and school, and then also with college applications. Lincoln’s been trying to convince me to go to his college because their team needs me to save them, as he claims.

 “Heya, heda,” they both greet me in our native tongue, and I say hi back. It’s no surprise when you meet someone who speaks it when us natives make up almost all of Azgeda and most of Polis. It was hilarious when Octavia first heard it and had no idea what we were saying. I look from the corner of my back at her to see she and Lincoln talking animatedly with each other. They’ve really hit it off.

 “Yu don en os pleiplei” Roan said as he shook my hand, I thanked him and politely told them they played a good game as well. We quickly fell into pointless conversation before another member of their team, Roan’s sister, Ontari, came over to retrieve them and they left. I went back to where Anya and Gustus were, and sat down next to my cousin. We were kind of distant because we didn’t get to see each other too often until now but we’re still close. She’s the one who introduced me to soccer, and goes to the same college as Lincoln. She usually helps Gustus out too.

 “Heya, Heda,” she greets mockingly, and I smirk. Heda in our tongue literally means “Commander”. I got that nickname because as team captain, I tend to get way into the game and take control.

 “Weron Gustus gon we?” I ask her, she simply points over by the fans bleachers at Gustus talking to some guy in a suit. I’ve seen him before, at Lincoln’s college. I’m pretty sure either he or Anya must’ve convinced the man to come. After that, we fall into a comfortable silence, occasionally breaking it to joke or point out some ridiculous thing in our language. I never speak in English with Anya, it’s always been like that. Most people have left at this point but my team likes to hang around for a while after games just to relax.

 Gustus returns over to us as the man in the suit leaves. And in his straightforward way, he tells me that I’ve been offered a soccer scholarship to TonDC University, I sit in shocked silence as he smiles proudly at me. Lincoln, Anya, and I often joke about me going there, but it’s actually a really nice place and it’s not that easy to get into. Most of the team look up at me when I still sit frozen. Octavia, Lincoln, and another man who I think must be Octavia’s brother walk over to me.

 “Congrats, Lexa. That’s amazing! You should totally take it.” Octavia tells me, before soon leaving with her brother, telling everyone goodbye and leaving with her brother. As more time passes the other members of our team leave, leaving just me and my family. 

 "So……Are you going to take it?” Lincoln asks me. Finally, I unfreeze, a grin spreading out on my face and nodding.

* * *

 That was months ago. Summer passed by like nothing and the school year started up again. I take a breath to relax my nerves and open the door to the room where I’ll be staying for the next year or so. I’m greeted by the back of a girl with tanned skin and dark brown hair wearing grey cargo shorts (lame lol) and a loose fitting muscle shirt that’s way too big on her.

‘She looks familiar’ I think as I step more into the room, closing the door behind me. The girl finally turns around.

“Blake?”

"Lexa!”

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Jok"- "Fuck"  
> "Jok of."- "fuck off."  
> "Yu don en os pleiplei."- "You played a good game."  
> "Weron Gustus gon we?"- "Where did Gustus go?"  
> "  
> This is also being posted and updated on fanfiction.net if you want to check it out on there. -----> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12356764/1/A-Most-Peculiar-Girl  
> So that was that. I wanted to include Trigedaslang in this because I love when people do that, but I know I’m not that good, so feel free to correct me on it! Also if anyone’s wondering, the name Costia/ Kostia, is Finnish, so I made her last name Finnish too.  
> That’s it for now, so until next time.  
> May we meet again (that was cheesy, I’m sorry)  
> -Ted


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia and Lexa reunite after summer break. Clarke and Raven interrupt. Lexa is shy. Soccer is played

**Chapter 2**

* * *

 

**Octavia P.O.V.**

I had heard the door open an eventually close once the person came inside. I was busy unpacking my things to see who it was; it was probably just Clarke or Raven. I have been friends with Clarke since Pre-K, and met Raven in middle school and we’ve been friends since then.

“Blake?”

That was definitely not Clarke or Raven. I turned around to see who my roommate was.

“Lexa!”

She let out an ‘oof’ as I practically glomped onto her.

“You actually took the scholarship!” I said surprised, she nodded in response.

“Well it is a nice school, and anyone would be a fool to not take up a soccer scholarship here.” She shrugged, trying to casually brush it off before glancing away. Lexa’s kinda shy around people, even still slightly to me. I can tell she tries and wants to be comfortable around me and new people that she meets. She just can’t. But she’s getting better with me.

“I can’t believe we’re roommates!” I exclaimed, stepping away so she can set her stuff down, and trying to make her relax a little. I notice her grin at me and I grin back.

“Yeah, me neither,” she replied “now I can make sure that you don’t slack off on your soccer skills and Trigedasleng- on second thought,” she paused, “I don’t think I’ll have to worry about that second one. ‘M pretty sure Lincoln’s got that covered.” She teased.

I blush and roll my eyes and throw a pillow at her. Over the summer, her brother, Lincoln and I began talking and we really hit it off. We fall into casual conversation and I’m glad she’s relaxed now; she can get pretty worked up inside really easily. We talk about my other friends from Arkadia and about how they were able to get into the same school, and how Lexa just has to meet them. She looked a little uneasy at that but I reassured her that my friends are understanding, and nice.

The door busted open to see Raven and Clarke play-shoving each other and arguing and trying to get my opinion about some thing or another that I didn’t bother to pay attention to. I notice Lexa’s uneasiness and try to bring her back down.

“At least I thought they were.” I joked to Lexa. This seemed to bring Clarke and Raven out of whatever argument they were in and realize there was someone else in the room.

“Hi, I’m Clarke.” “And I’m Raven.”

They both turn around to greet her and hold out their hands for her to shake, which she does.

“Ai tagon Lexa.” She mumbles. Clarke turns back to me with a confused expression on her face.

Uh oh. I’ve learned a few things about Lexa in the few months that I’ve known her. And that’s that despite how awkward and uncomfortable she gets around people, she doesn’t want to seem “rude”, she must have been raised that way. But whenever it happens it’s like whatever part of her brain that knows English switches off **(A/N: I actually had a friend from Spain who would do that, until he found out that I was about as socially competent as a rock, and that made him feel better)**.

“Guys, this Lexa. I met her on the Polis soccer team, where she scored the winning goal in our last game. In fact, she’s here on a soccer scholarship!” I grin, still proud of my friend. “Wait-that was YOU?” Raven exclaimed. Oh yeah, I forgot she was there at that game.

“DUDE you were AMAZING!” Now, Raven’s not a big sports fan, but she came with Bellamy and a few others to support me.

Lexa blushed a hard red and nodded before looking down at her lap. Clarke seemed to notice the same time I did.

“Hey, Lexa. You okay?” She asked, bending down to look at her face.

“She’s fine,” I answered for her, “she probably just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, right Lexa?” The girl in question nodded but Clarke still didn’t look entirely convinced. She was about to say something until someone burst in through the door again.

“Reyes” some sweaty guy I have never seen before panted. “we need your help.”

Raven shrugged and started to head out the door, grabbing Clarke’s wrist to follow her.

“C’mon, Clarke, you’re coming with me. Bye, Lexa!” Both girls waved to her and Lexa returned it shyly.

After they left I sat down next to her.

“Sorry about them- well, this whole awkward introduction I guess.” I apologized, “you okay?”

“Ron ai taim op.” She replied and I complied, heading over to my laptop to surf the web and talk to Lincoln.

* * *

 

About an hour after that mess, Lexa’s calmed down. Normally after every encounter like that the only way she can bring herself back down to earth is to isolate herself either with her music or a run. I can still hear her music blasting through her headphones when there’s a knock on our door. I shout that it’s open and Lincoln and Anya walk in. I look over to Lexa to see her sitting up in her bed with her music off.

“Heya strisis, hey Octavia,” Lincoln greets us, Anya giving us both a nod as they step more into the room. We both greet them back.

“I heard that Octavia’s friends had quite an impression on you, you alright?” He asks Lexa, who shoots me a small glare before nodding. She hates when people worry about her or pity her because of this. Just because she can’t control it. But I promised Lincoln I’d let him know if she ever got close to a freak out.

Lincoln worries about her a lot, especially when he went off to college and left her at Polis. He told me a few things about their past. Lexa had always been kinda shy when they were growing up, but still a happy kid. They lived in a pretty rural area and when they moved to a more urban one, her confidence kind of went down. Sure, they went to a school where pretty much everyone spoke Trigedasleng, but whenever they would go out, people would mock their English, and confusion when they didn’t understand something. All in all, people were assholes to their family. And so Lincoln always felt the need to keep her safe, especially after their parents died. It was a car crash. I don’t really know much more than that because he doesn’t really like to talk about it. I know what that’s like, with me and Bellamy. I think that why he had opened up to me at all. Because he knew I wouldn’t pity him, I could understand. After that, they moved in with Gustus and Indra, their aunt and uncle.

Lexa’s pretty intense and fierce though, when she wants to be. Pretty sure that she could lead soldiers to a war and they’d obey every single word she says. That’s the way she is on the soccer field, anyway.

After spending a few hours talking and playing a few games I had on my computer (Lincoln and I lost miserable to Anya and Lexa.) we went out for food and Gustus and Indra’s diner, Grounders. I always feel kinda out of the loop whenever we go here, like I’m intruding on something. I might be getting better at my Trigedasleng like Lincoln says, but that doesn’t mean shit when they speak it as fast as they do.

“Lexa! Octavia! Os kom sin in, ha don yu sontam?” He asked me, slowly so I could process all the words.

“Os. Ai mous granplei soccer.” I replied after a while. Lexa smirked impishly.

“Oh yeah?” She taunted “why don’t you prove it then, show that you just said that and haven’t just been slacking off.” I shoved her lightly because she’s mostly right. Although I wouldn’t call it slacking off, per-se. I’ve just been busy with getting ready for college, and work, and Lincoln……

“But we don’t even have a ball to play with.” I tried to play off, before one was tossed into my hands.

“Hir,” I heard Anya’s monotone voice say. Oh she so totally just wants to see me fall on my ass.

“Alright,” I shrug, there’s no use trying to get out of this now.

“You’re on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ai tagon Lexa"- "My name is Lexa"
> 
> "Ron ai taim op"- "Give me some time"
> 
> "strisis"- "little sister"
> 
> "os kom sin in yu, ha don yu sontam?"- "It's good to see you, how was your summer?"
> 
> "Os. Ai mous granplei soccer."- "Good. I mostly practiced soccer."
> 
> "Hir."- "Here."
> 
> So, that's it for this chapter. Chapter three will be up soon. Again, please correct me on my Trigedasleng if I got any wrong, which I'm sure I did.
> 
> Until next time, peace,
> 
> -Ted


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it's so hard to get used to all the editing features on here after writing exclusively on fanfiction.net for so long.   
> Anyway.......  
> Lexa and Octavia are hot (from playing soccer). Wick fails at flirting. A movie is watched. Monty is a cinnamon roll. Popcorn is thrown and Lexa faces an enemy.

**Chapter 3**

* * *

 

**Lexa P.O.V.**

We both walked back to our dorm after that impromptu game. It was just what I needed, I hadn’t practiced in a week because I had been so busy with preparations.

The sun had set by the time Blake and I said our goodbyes to my family and started on our way, her sulking the entire time. It wasn’t even that late but man I am exhausted. I could tell Octavia must feel the same way. The second we got into our room we face-planted onto our beds, not planning to get up until tomorrow, when classes officially start. Unfortunately, our plans were foiled by a knock on the door. I hear Blake mumble a “come in”, not bothering to life her face from her pillow, and the person does so.

They are quiet and first and we both finally look up to see Clarke in the doorway. “Well, I was going to invite you over to watch a movie with me and Raven and probably pass out in our room, but seeing as it seems like you’ve got that second half covered, I’ll take my leave.” She teases. Blake shoves her face back in her pillow and grumbles out a response. I can practically hear Clarke roll her eyes.

“Fine, best friend, I’ll just spend my time throwing popcorn at Bellamy and watching Wick fail terribly at flirting with Raven.” At this Blake shot up.

“What? Seriously? Okay, this I gotta see.” She got up from her bed and made sure she still looked human before standing next to Clarke at the door. They both look back over to me.

“You comin’, Woods?” Blake cocked her head. I shrug and sit up. I’m already awake anyway so I might as well. I grab my glasses and hoodie and pull it up to hide my braids that were already coming undone, since I didn’t feel like dealing with it right now, and followed them down a couple of rooms to Clarke’s.

Blake and Clarke walked in first and I trailed behind them, starting to get a little nervous because these are mostly people I don’t know. There are two boys close to the window who are talking about some sort of video game, and Raven right by them with another boy who must be Wick. Over on what I assume is Clarke’s bed, I spot Blake’s older brother and start to calm down a little. I don’t know him that well, but I definitely know him more than most of these people. I go over to sit by him and he fistbumps me as a greeting. We sit in silence while we wait for Clarke to start the movie she said we’d be watching.

Once Clarke finally sets up whatever movie we’re going we all settle down, she ends up sitting on a chair next to me. The movie ends up being a horror film called “Friend Request”, and Clarke promptly feels the need to point out that the main character looks like me. She’s kinda right, I guess. I mean, besides the glasses and our hair, it’s like she’s my doppelgänger.

By the time the movie was over, pretty much the only ones that were awake were me and Clarke. The rest of them were passed out, Bellamy especially and he was littered with popcorn, I was too, unfortunately as collateral damage from Clarke’s attack. At this point she and I had been watching random shows and joking around.

I managed to get her to watch a few episodes of The Walking Dead, but only if I watched the first Harry Potter movie, and that’s where we are now. I look over at the girl to see her nearing sleep, and I’m doing the same. Before I even realize it, my eyes shut and I fall asleep.

* * *

 

I’m rudely awoken what feels like only minutes later by an alarm blaring into my ear. Once it stops I try to fall back asleep. I am way too exhausted to deal with this (shit). My plan fails when I begin to hear giggling from a few people in the room and before I can even think I end up drenched in freezing cold water. My body jerks causing me to fall from the uncomfortable bed to the surprisingly even more uncomfortable floor. I finally open my eyes and put on my fallen glasses to see that Clarke has met the same fate.

“Come on, bitches, classes start today.” I look up at Raven and Blake who were wearing matching smug grins, they must have been the masterminds of this rude awakening. Bellamy and Jasper stand on either side of them holding the cups they used.

“Joka.” I grumble out, glaring at them all. Blake gasps dramatically at this. “Lexa! Language. There are children in the room.” She says as she puts her hands on a still half-asleep and confused Monty **(A/N: Yeah, I know that Octavia’s technically the youngest, but Monty is an innocent cinnamon roll)**. I finally stand up, giving her the finger and rolling my eyes before making my exit to head back to our room.

As I make my short way down the hallway back to mine and Blake’s room I am halted by a rough knock to the shoulder. I would have just brushed it off if the other person hadn’t made a big deal of it.

“Hey, watch where you’re going, branwoda.” She says gruffly. I groan internally before turning to face her. I am met by a glaring Ontari carrying a soccer ball under her arm, which mean she must be here on a scholarship too. Great. Just what I needed. Someone to constantly remind me of that time.

“What are you even doing here, Woods? I thought places like this don’t take your kind.” I swallow my anger. Despite speaking the same language and originally being from the same villages, we Trikru and the Azgeda don’t get along that well. The Azgeda see themselves as better, and economically, most people agree, meanwhile they see us more as “savages”.

“And I thought that you had to earn a scholarship. Apparently they hand them out to anyone these days. Guess we were both wrong.” I shoot back, shrugging. I turn to make my leave.

“Heya!” She shouts back at me as I keep walking. “Yu beda ai raun.”

I ignore her warning and walk into my room. A short while later, Blake follows. She’s dripping wet. I guess Clarke must’ve gotten her revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Points to whoever has seen the movie, "Friend Request" or is just a die-hard Alycia fan regardless   
> "Joka"- "Fucker"
> 
> "branwoda"- "fool" (I don't know what other swear/insults I can use. I would check but have no access right now)
> 
> "Yu beda ai raun" – "You better watch out."
> 
> Sorry, it's shorter than the other chapters, but I'm dealing with writers block right now, so also sorry if this chapter seems like shit. Again, I encourage you to correct me on my Trigedasleng. Also leave me some ideas to include in some of the next chapters.
> 
> Until next time, peace
> 
> -Ted


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay...man, here we go.  
> Lexa runs into Clarke. They eat. They bond. And Lexa finds out a secret.

**Chapter 4**

* * *

 

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

By the time I finish my social justice class it’s 12:30. I know that Lincoln and Anya are still in their classes so I have some time to kill while I wait for them so I walk around the campus for a while, keeping my head down I almost totally ram whoever is in front of me down. They grab me by the arms to help steady us both and I look up to see Clarke. I mumble out an apology and she grins widely at me, before telling me it’s okay. We bend down to pick up the stuff we both dropped. After I grab my books, I help her out with her things. Paintbrushes and pencils litter the ground along with a canvas. Huh, I never thought of her as being an artist. Once everything is picked up, I stand up again hoping to escape as fast as possible, I am thoroughly embarrassed, I can’t believe I just walked into her. Before I can get too far, someone grabs my wrist. It’s Clarke.

“Hey. My friends are still in their classes and I have time to kill before my next one, do you wanna grab something to eat?” I blush a bright red and nod. No harm in getting some lunch, right? Her grip on my wrist quickly switches to my hand.

“Come on, I have a friend who works at a diner around here and he’s always willing to give me a discount.” She smiles back at me as she drags me along.

A couple more minutes of walking and we come up on a small diner. A fluorescent flashes the name “Jaha’s” in big bright red letters. The second we walk inside my senses are hit by everything. The small chatter by the other couple customers sitting on stools and in booths and workers shouting out orders, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and fresh bread, and so much more. Despite how small they are, they seem to get a lot of business and just from walking in I can understand more. Clarke pulls me by my hand over to a booth in the corner of the diner and as we sit down, a large, dark-skinned boy in an apron walks over and hugs Clarke from behind. She’s shocked for a second before she smiles and turns around, hugging him properly.

“Hey, Wells. Long time no see. How have you been?” She greets the boy, Wells, it seems.

“Hey princess, I’m good. Been helping dad out ‘round here, it always gets crazy once the semester starts. How have you been? I haven’t seen you since dad’s wedding to Allie.” He replies. I quietly watch the interaction; I feel like I’m intruding on their reunion.

She smacks him lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t call me princess, I’m not a little girl anymore. Anyway I’ve been good, thankful I’m able to get away from Arkadia for a while, it was way too crowded there. I’m majoring in art right now.”

A notification from my phone startles me and pulls their attention from each other. I blush and check my phone to see a text from Lincoln.

_From: Bro_

_Heya, Ai odon. Ai kamp raun yu and Oktavia wogeda. Ai op yu den._

It’s become kind of an unspoken rule of my family that we only ever text each other in Trigedasleng.

“Oh.” My attention is pulled from my phone by Clarke. I send Lincoln a quick ait as Clarke introduces me. “Wells, this is Lexa, she’s a friend of the Blake’s from Polis. Lexa, this is Wells, he and his dad run the place. I’ve known them both practically since the day I was born.”

I shake Wells’ hand in greeting and the three of us settle down. As Wells leaves to get us what we ordered an awkward silence falls over me and Clarke. God, I hate this. I’m fighting with my brain trying to think of something to talk about. As Wells drops of our drinks, coffee with creamer and two sugars for Clarke, and a simple black coffee for me, Clarke decides to try to start a conversation.

“So, are you taking social justice? I saw you coming out of that building.” I nod in response.

“So, what got you into it?” My eyes light up. My reason for getting into social justice is exactly what I plan on fixing in this country. It’s one of the very few things I get confident about. I’m not going to let what happened to me growing up stand in the way of changing the country for the better. There is so much inequality in this world and I intend on changing that. I tell Clarke exactly so. She has her chin resting on her hand as I talk.

_‘God, she probably doesn’t want to hear this. I’m probably boring the shit out of her so she doesn’t have to suffer.’_

As I start to trail off, I finish with, “but, yeah.” I clear my throat. “Basically all of the shit my family went through is what got me into it. Just because of where we were from we weren’t treated equally. Nothing much really to it.” I shrug and look down at my mug of coffee, then at my phone on the table, wishing Lincoln, or Anya, or someone would text me to pull me out of this so I can hide in embarrassment.

“That’s a great reason. And a great plan for the future. I personally don’t think I’d be able to work in that line of field, you have to be really rational and calm when dealing with those situations, I wouldn’t be able to do that, especially if I grew up in those exact same situations. So where are you from?” Wells drops off our food quickly before being called back over to someone else.

I look up from the table. “I’m uh- I’m from Maryland.” She looks at me questioningly and I correct myself.

“I’m from Trikru. It’s a small village-more like a tribe in Maryland.” She nods in understanding.

Wanting to get the attention off of me, I ask her, “So, are you an art major?” She nods proudly. I ask her the same question she asked me earlier and her eyes soften as she looks away.

“My dad.” She says, and then is quiet for a while before continuing. “He was always supportive of me no matter what I would do, and when I told him I wanted to be an artist when I grew up, he didn’t stop. My mother wanted me to follow in her footsteps and become a surgeon, but my dad talked her into letting me make my own decisions.”

I nod. “He sounds like a great man.” I tell her.

“He was.” She smiles sadly and nods. “But, my dad passed away four years ago. Cancer.”

_‘Great, she probably thinks I’m an asshole now. Way to go.’_

The silence falls over us again as we eat and eventually Wells comes around with the bill. Obviously sensing the mood, he doesn’t stay long and soon we’re heading out the door.

* * *

 

“I’m sorry.” I say quietly after a few minutes of walking. She nods to me and it’s quiet again.

“I understand what it’s like,” I tell her.

_‘_ _No, don’t talk to her about this now, I’m just gonna make her sad about her dad again, she doesn’t want to think about his death.’_ I continue on anyway.

“I actually lost both of my parents a few years ago.” She looks up at me in shock.

“Can I-can I ask how?” She asks timidly.

“They were shot.” I say. “In an alley on their way back home. It was a hate crime; it was so clearly a hate crime. But no one treated it like one, no one even treated it like murder. My parents didn’t get the justice they deserve. That’s why I decided to go into Social Justice.”

She squeezes my hand lightly and the rest of our walk back to our dorms is in silence, only this time, it’s not awkward.

* * *

 

I yawn as I walk back to my dorm, Clarke already went back in hers. I could so take a nap, looking at my watch I see that my next class isn’t for another three hours.

Unfortunately, the second I open my door, I’m forced awake by the sight of a shirtless Blake and Lincoln practically shoving their tongues down each other’s throats. I cover my eyes and yell at them, seemingly pulling them out of paradise as they scramble to cover up.

I must have yelled pretty loud because Clarke and Raven burst out of their room and come see what made me yell. A wicked grin spreads across Raven’s face.

“It’s about time you got some, Blake.” She says loudly, causing the two culprits to blush bright red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Heya, ai odon. Ai kamp raun yu and Oktavia wogeda. Ai op yu den."- "Hey, I'm done. I'm going to your's and Octavia's dorm. See you then."  
> "Ait"- "okay"  
> In the italics, what Lexa was thinking as she talked to Clarke is generally the kind of stuff that goes through my head when I try to socialize. Was this a little too dramatic? I feel like it was. Also I have no idea what I’m doing with Raven’s character, she’s not going to be a pervert I promise you that, but she is going to be like that friend.  
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's A LOT of Trigedasleng in this chapter. the translation is in the notes. Next time I do something like that though, the translation will be next to the text.   
> Anyway. There's a fight. It gets resolved.....That's pretty much it.

**Chapter 5**

* * *

 

**Clarke’s P.O.V.**

I’d been in my room for maybe 3 minutes after mine and Lexa’s lunch date—I mean, it wasn’t a date date, just a friend date—when I heard someone yell from down the hall. Raven and I ran out to make sure everyone was okay to see Lexa standing right outside her dorm with a scowl on her face and her hand over her eyes, her face a bright red. Raven and I peered in to see what would make her act that way to see an embarrassed Octavia and this really buff guy in her bed trying to cover themselves up.

I was pulled from my shock by Raven shouting, “It’s about time you got some, Blake.” Causing them to blush harder.

* * *

 

After the initial fiasco had calmed down, we all sat in Octavia’s and Lexa’s room while she ranted to them both. It seems like she knows exactly who they guy is.

“Hanch taim?” Silence between the two guilty parties, Lexa spoke louder. “Hanch taim yu don’s ses op?”

Lincoln sighed, before replying, “Stot au sontam bos op…”

“Don thri natshana kom gon! Ai nau wich in yu ses op! In ai wogeda! Yu ai bro, Lincoln! Don yu gon tel op ai hashta dison?”

“Lexa, beja. Sha, Ai gon tel op yu. Don yu vout in ai nou don? Ai nou don kep in som kom yu.”

The big guy, Lincoln, argued back at her. They were speaking in a language I didn’t understand. Octavia was obviously trying to get her to understand, but the usually quiet girl was raving mad.

“Beja, Lexa…..We nou don yu dig au this wonwe.”

“Ba ai don, Oktavia! Ai nau wich in yu! Ai lukot en ai bro finga au ses op! Ha oso yu nami hashta Bellamy en ai don ses op en yu dig au bilaik dison?”

She was getting to shouting level now, so I decided to jump in so the situation could de-escalate. I step in between Lincoln and Lexa who looked close to brawling.

“Okaaaaayyy. Let’s all just calm down and stop with all the yelling. We can handle this like adults.” I put my hands on Lexa’s shoulders to keep her from attacking Lincoln.

“Ai nou don vout in em na, if em nowe tel op ai!”

Octavia got up from her seat on her bed and stood in front of Lexa.“Ai krei fiya, Lexa, beja wigod ai op.”

Before this could go any further, Raven- who I forgot was still in the room, she had been dead silent- interrupted.

“Ugghh! Can you guys speak English or something? I’m starting to get a migraine from this, I can’t understand what you’re saying!” Octavia seemed to perk up at this and smiled. She turned to Lexa and Lincoln mumbling a quick “gonasleng, guys”, before turning back to us and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry guys, we just really got into it I guess.” Lincoln and Lexa followed suit.

“Now, can we try this again, civilly, in English this time?” I asked them all and they responded with a nod. Ugh, I feel like I’m dealing with an argument between petulant children. I led Lexa to her bed to sit down with her while Raven sat on the desk chair next to us. “Okay, now let’s talk about what, in English, this was exactly about.”

Lexa fiddled with her thick framed glasses for a little bit, keeping her eyes on the floor before replying. “I guess the fact that they never told me about what was going on between them.” She shrugged.

“And why were you hurt by that?” I ask her. I hear Raven snicker a little and know exactly what she’s thinking. I sound like one of those lame-ass therapists on TV. I shoot her a look as Lexa answers back.

“Well, the fact that they’re my brother and friend. It’s kind awkward, since I had to find out like this., and especially since it had already been happening for three months.” She shrugged. Now it all makes sense, no one wants to think about their sibling and friend hooking up.

Lincoln spoke up at this. “We just weren’t sure how to approach it with you, Lex. Especially since everything that happened was still so fresh with you, we wanted to let you heal a little bit.” Well that’s certainly interesting. What does he mean ‘everything that happened’? Was he talking about their parents? But she told me that happened a few years ago, and sure, the pain from that lingers for a long time, but it wouldn’t be that fresh for her.

Lexa rolled her eyes at this. “I’m not a child, Lincoln you have to stop treating me like one. Like I might break. I’m fine. You could have told me and I would have been fine.”

He hung his head. “I know, I’m sorry. We should have told you earlier. Are we cool?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Raven got up from her seat and stretched, “now that that’s over, we can leave. Clarke, c’mon, we have classes.” She grabs my by the arm and pulls me up, forcing me to follow her. She stops abruptly and turns around to the other three.

“Oh yeah, what was that language you guys were speaking earlier anyway?”

“It’s a very old language call Trigedasleng, spoken almost only by those who come from the Trikru or the other branches of tribes.” Lincoln explains.

“Trikru…...huh….Alright, Griffin lets go.” She says promptly, dragging me along, making me nearly fall flat on my face in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hanch taim?"- "How long?"
> 
> "Hanch taim yu don's ses op?"- "How long have you been having sex?"
> 
> "Stot au sontam bos op"- "Beginning of summer break"
> 
> "Don thri natshana kom gon! Ai nau wich in yu ses op! In ai wogeda! Yu ai bro, Lincoln! Don yu gon tel op ai hashta dison?"- "That was three moons (months) ago! I can't believe you guys had sex! In my room! You are my brother, Lincoln! Were you ever going to tell me about this?"
> 
> Lexa, beja. Sha, ai gon tel op yu. Don yu vout in ai nou don? Ai nou don kep in som kom yu."- "Lexa, please. Yes, I was going to tell you. Did you think I wouldn't? I would never keep something from you."
> 
> "Beja, Lexa….. We nou don yu dig au this wonwe."- "Please, Lexa…We never wanted you to find out this way."
> 
> "Ba ai don, Oktavia! Ai nou wich in yu! Ai lukot en ai bro finga au ses op! Ha oso yu nami hashta Bellamy en ai don ses op en yu dig au bilaik dison?"- "But I did, Octavia! I can't believe you! My friend and my brother are having sex! How would you feel if it was me and Bellamy and you had to find out this way?"
> 
> "Ai nou don vout in em na, if em nowe tel op ai!"- "I don't think they can, if they never told me!"
> 
> "Ai krei fiya, Lexa, beja wigod ai op."- "I am so sorry, Lexa, please forgive me."
> 
> "gonasleng, guys"- "English, guys"
> 
> I feel like this chapter just absolutely sucked, but I was struggling to write something and wanted to get a chapter up today. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. Also sorry this chapter is shorter than the others.
> 
> So, until next time, peace
> 
> -Ted


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time has passed. Anya visits. Lexa has a panic attack.
> 
> A/N: Lexa's panic attack is based on what mine are often like

**Chapter 6**

* * *

 

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

Almost two weeks had passed since the whole issue of Blake and Lincoln hooking up exploded in my face. Since then, it’s been kinda boring, it seems like I’ve already fallen into a rut. Clarke’s been busy with her classes, spending most of her days in an art studio, working. So mainly I just go back to the dorm. That’s pretty much all it is. Wake up, get ready, go out for a jog, go to class, have lunch, go back to the dorm, then go back out for any other classes. I have run into Ontari a few more times though.

I head back to my room to start on the work that needs to be handed in in two days. I procrastinated too much. I had my music blasting in my ears from my headphones. I found it to be one of my calming mechanisms, to just pull me away from the rest of the world. I check the door to make sure it’s safe to go in. Blake and I made that compromise. I’m okay with her and Lincoln together just as long as they do it at his place or warn me next time. As I set my stuff down at the desk I focus on the beat and play it on my desk. It’s kinda engrained into me from being a percussionist in school.

I sit in front of my laptop and stare at the blank screen as I continue to do so, I really need to write this essay. Stupid writers block **(A/N: Ayyyyyy)**. Despite the loud music I hear a knock at the door, and suddenly someone is walking in. Thinking it’s Blake I pay them no mind. That is, until my headphones are being ripped off. I turn to glare at whoever it is that has a death wish to see Anya wearing a smug look on her face. She’s so pleased with herself.

“Heya Heda, sochu?” She asks nonchalantly. (Hey Commander, what’s up?)

“Jos trana skraub daun dison.” I gesture to my blank screen. (Just trying to write this.)

“Wow, yu gada bitam odon.” She rolls her eyes at me. (Wow, you’ve gotten so much done.)

“Shof op. Ena chit du yu gaf in?” (Shut up. So, what do you need?)

“Ena ai don na if yu gaf in pleiplei soccer, ba yu granen. Don yu get in dison Ontari osir yu wogeda? She asked me. That’s curious. (Well, I wanted to see if you wanted to play soccer, but you’re busy. Did you know that Ontari is outside your room?)

“Chit ban em gaf in?” I ask her. She shrugs her shoulders and I stand up to go find out from the girl herself. (What does she want?)

She’s leaning against the wall. “Ontari.” I greet her, she looks over to me and straightens up. “Chit ban yu gaf in?” I ask her. (What do you want?)

“Costia en ai bro kom op. AI sad in tel op yu. Bak op kom Costia.” She tells me threateningly. I can feel my rage bubbling up. (Costia and my brother are coming. I decided to tell you. Stay away from Costia.)

I swallowed it down temporarily. “Ai nowe strat ai op em idowe.” Before I ended the conversation by going back into my room. (I never planned on seeing her anyway.)

* * *

 

My grip on my anger wasn’t going to last long so I knew I needed to get away from her as soon as possible. I unintentionally slammed the door closed and leaned against it trying to calm my nerves. The subject of Costia is still very sensitive to me, it’s a trigger. I could feel my heart start to race and my breathing become erratic. Anya seemed to have noticed too because the moment I came back into the room she was right by my side trying to calm me down. I started pacing, trying to focus on de-escalating but I couldn’t. My body was shaking and I couldn’t control it, I ended up back against the door again.

It’s like I was underwater, everything Anya was saying was muted and garbled and it was so hard to breathe, why is it so hard to breathe. My vision started to become blurred as my eyes filled up with tears.

I somehow managed to move away from the door and to the wall by my bed. I sunk to the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest. I grabbed handfuls of my hair with my twitching hands as I continued to hyperventilate. I was a mess. I didn’t even notice when Lincoln came in, or when he sat down next to me in the cramped area, still trying to give me as much space as possible.

* * *

 

**Anya’s P.O.V.**

I was finally free of my hectic classes. I’ve been swamped with work these past few weeks, but I was finally free now, so I decided to stop and see my cousin, see how college life was treating her.

I walk into her room without knocking, I shouldn’t have to, I’m family. She’s sitting at the desk with her back turned to the door, music blasting from those headphones she wears. I decide to sneak up on her and pull her headphones off. She glares at me, it’s hilarious. She thinks she’s intimidating.

“Heya Heda, sochu?” I ask her. (Hey Commander, what’s up?)

“Jos trana skraub daun dison.” She gestures to her computer screen. I look at it to see the blank word document; I understand what it’s like. (Just trying to write this.)

“Wow, yu gada bitam odon.” I rolls my eyes at her, because I know that she’s gonna make a big deal of it, I tease her a little. (Wow, you’ve gotten so much done.)

“Shof op. Ena chit du yu gaf in?” (Shut up. So, what do you need?)

“Ena ai don na if yu gaf in pleiplei soccer, ba yu granen. Don yu get in dison Ontari osir yu wogeda? I asked her. I passed her when I was walking down the hall. I didn’t even know the bitch was going here too. (Well, I wanted to see if you wanted to play soccer, but you’re busy. Did you know that Ontari is outside your room?)

“Chit ban em gaf in?” She asks. I shrug my shoulders and she stands up to go talk to her. (What does she want?)

The minute she walks out the door, I get up from my seat and listen through the door. That entire family-excluding Roan- has had it out for Lexa since day one when she moved to Polis. I can hear their conversation loud and clear.

“Chit ban yu gaf in?” Lexa asks Ontari. (What do you want?)

“Costia en ai bro kom op. AI sad in tel op yu. Bak op kom Costia.” (Costia and my brother are coming. I decided to tell you. Stay away from Costia.)

“Ai nowe strat ai op em idowe.” I rush back to my seat when I hear Lexa turning around and turning the doorknob. (I never planned on seeing her anyway.)

The second she walks in I already know something is off. She’s leaning against the door and her posture is slouched. Before I can even say something, she lets herself go and goes into a panic attack, and it’s escalating fast. I hate it whenever Costia is brought up, it’s not a nice thing for Lexa to remember.

I walk over to her and stand in front of her, being careful to not touch her, she doesn’t like to be touched when this happens. I try to talk her through it but I don’t think she can hear me, as she starts pacing I pull out my phone and send an emergency text reserved only for these attacks. He tells me that he was a few rooms over with both the Blake’s and the younger one’s friends and was on his way now. I managed wrangle her away from the door so she wouldn’t get hit and she sinks to the floor.

Lincoln bursts through the door and immediately goes over to sit by her, whispering to her as she breathing gets worse. He carefully removes her glasses and talks her through her attack. As he does, Octavia, her brother and friends remain outside the door, I look over at them and walk out of the room, closing the door so they can’t see what’s going on, Octavia nods to me in understanding and we’re silent while we wait for the situation to be resolved.

* * *

 

About twenty minutes later, Lincoln came out, saying it was okay. We all entered the room to see Lexa back at her desk, clearly embarrassed, but no one questions her about it. She’s still shaking, although it’s not as noticeable as before. After about an hour of just joking around, making her feel comfortable again, the others leave, with just me Octavia, and Lexa in the room. I help her out with her paper. Seeing as it’s late, I head back to my apartment to get some sleep, knowing that if anything happens, I’ll be contacted. Still, my sleep is fitful as I worry about my cousin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there you go. I hope you like how much longer this chapter is compared to the others and the spit P.O.V. in the middle of the chapter. The next one will either be up later today or on Saturday. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow (I’m not sick or anything, for job shadowing) and I’m gonna be gone the entire day. To top it all off, with the anxiety I actually do have, I’m probably just going to be exhausted and too stressed to post tomorrow.   
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's been distant. Ontari's a bitch. Lexa is gay. Yup.

**Chapter 7**

* * *

 

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

A few days have passed since then and I’ve been stressed out for a while. I know that I’ve been kind of distant from my friends lately but only because the whole “Costia coming to visit” thing has got me so on edge. I’m doing all I can to try and avoid her when she does come. Ontari didn’t even tell me when it’s gonna be so for the past couple days I’ve just been avoiding my dorm room completely until I can barely stay awake.

That’s what I’m doing right now. I’ve been in the library for hours. Technically it’s already closed, but a family friend actually runs it and he tends to let me stay in afterwards and I usually help him clean up the messes others have left. His name is Titus. He’s actually my godfather, he and my dad had known each other for years back when we all still lived in the Trikru village, they grew up there together. He was at the front of the library behind the counter finishing up on the returned books. I was near the back reading an old storybook that I had started on the previous day and had stashed away for tonight. It was in Trigedasleng so only a few people around here would be able to read it. I got lost in thought thinking about when we lived with the rest of the Trikru. Times were easier then-we didn’t have to deal with all the bigoted people around us back then. The people that never treated us equally and made us struggle.

I was startled from my thoughts by a knocking on the back door of the library. One that so few use because it opens into the back room reserved only for employees and of course my family. I open the door and am greeted by Anya and Raven immediately walking in.

“It’s freezing out there.” I hear Raven mumble as he tightens her jacket around her torso to help her warm up. I quickly close the door and give them a questioning look.

“What are you guys doing here?” I ask Raven. I’m promptly flicked on the forehead by Anya. I rub the spot that is now turning red as she responds.

“Branwoda. Oso don ge lufa au yu.” (Idiot. We’ve been looking for you.)

“Hakom?” I ask them both. (Why?)

It’s Raven who responds this time. “We were starting to get worried. At first it was just Clarke when you didn’t come back after a while, but we all know that you haven’t been for the past few days anyway so we waited a while. I texted Anya and she came over around 11:00. I was starting to get a little worried but I heard you mention the other day that you had a test to study for so I figured you were just busy here doing that and forgot. When Lincoln dropped Octavia back at your dorm about an hour ago is when we really started to worry. So we started a search party.”

I was confused. How long have I been gone? I look at my phone. It was 2:00 A.M.! Have I really been here for that long? Why did Titus not tell me? I look up to the front at the man to see him no longer working but sitting in one of the lounge chairs, fast asleep.

“Miya.” Anya ordered me. She waited for me to gather my things before grabbing my wrist and practically dragging me to the front. Waking up Titus on the way, Raven trailing behind us. (Come on.)

The second we stepped outside we were surrounded by people. Clarke engulfed me in a hug before I could even react. I froze in her arms as she whispered to me.

“I was so worried. I thought something had happened to you.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered back, starting to go slack in her arms. Exhaustion was just starting to hit me now. I haven’t been sleeping well anyway. Both Clarke and Lincoln seemed to notice so he suggested that he drive me back to my dorm so I wouldn’t have to walk. I was silently led to his car.

* * *

 

The rest of the night is kind of a blur, but suddenly I wake up to the sound of my alarm and I’m in my bed. I turn it off and grab my glasses. Putting them on I see Octavia just waking up as well. Still a little disoriented I lay in bed for a minute, before a door from outside slams shut, seemingly waking me up and reminding me about the test I have at 10:15. I check my phone and quietly curse before jumping out of bed. It’s already 9:00. I rush to the restroom to get ready, leaving Octavia in the dust.

I check the time again after I finish my shower and putting on a light amount of makeup **(A/N: I suck at describing makeup and/or clothes being a guy so I’m really not gonna)**. It’s 9:45. I come out of the restroom to get dressed to see Octavia drinking her coffee out of a reusable Starbucks cup and roll my eyes at her. She always says that it’s the only way she can function but I can never relate.

It’s 10:00 by the time I’m out the door and practically sprinting to my Social Justice class’ building and barely make it on time. It’s 10:13. I take the last two minutes I have to catch my breath and regain composure. I don’t think I’ve ever been so thankful for the four mile laps my team had to run last year.

* * *

 

I walk out of the building when it’s over and am internally freaking. I have no idea how I did. Sure, I studied, but it seemed like half the questions on the test weren’t ever covered. I decide I need to calm my nerves so I head toward Grounders, a diner that my aunt and uncle and their friend run- well, currently it’s just my uncle and his friend because my aunt left just last week for the military.

On my way there I see Raven, who looks just as frazzled as I do, she must’ve just had the same experience in her engineering class. I invite her to join me. Since the school year has started I’ve been slowly warming up to her and Clarke, and my internal anxiety and worries have been less and less.

* * *

 

On our way there we run in to one of the two people I’ve been avoiding for the past week or so. She knocks into me and turns to grin impishly at me.

“Hey Lexa,” she greets me in English. “Heard you went MIA last night. It’s a shame they found you though, you should’ve stayed lost. You don’t belong here anyway, yu wuskripa.” She laughs at me. (you monster/savage)

“What is your problem with me, Ontari?!” I shout at her before she can leave. She turns back to me and glares dangerously before getting in my face.

“My problem? My problem is that you turned my own brother against me. That you left us at school and moved to a ‘better’ one. My problem is that you made everyone pity you and then broke my best friend’s heart because of it. What happened back then with your parents is exactly what savages like you deserve.” She smirked and shoved me. In my shocked, seemingly catatonic state, I ended up falling back, only just catching myself on my hands.

“Hey leave her alone!” I hear Raven as she stepped in between us two. Ontari roughly pushes her similar to the she did me.

“Out of my way, gimpy.” She says as she walks past us and disappears around a corner **(A/N: I would honestly never use the word “gimpy” or “gimp” in real life, just trying to get across how much of a bitch Ontari is. And I’ve actually been pointed out as being “gimped up” by a stranger while recovering from a surgery)**.

Lincoln texted me to let me know that he and the others were already where we were headed. I tell Raven the same thing.

By the time we got to Grounders we were both riled up. I was practically shaking and I guessed that Raven wasn’t too much better. I can tell that the problem with her leg is a sensitive subject for her, especially when people use it against her like Ontari did.

My uncle Gustus greets us both as we walk by to sit in two lounge chairs over by a bookcase in the corner, where the rest of our friends are sitting waiting for us. I guess they can already sense our mood because their eyes soften. Before they can ask us what happened though, Raven spits out a few choice words.

“That fucking bitch.” She roughly sits down in between Clarke and Anya, as I do the same between Clarke and Lincoln. The rest of them look at me confused.

“Ontari.” I simply say, still shaking trying to get my emotions under control. Most of them nod in understanding, leaving Clarke, Bellamy, Monty, and Jasper still very confused but they don’t ask anything. I hear Raven give out an exasperated sigh before she rests her head on Anya’s shoulder-which she doesn’t seem to mind- as Clarke begins to run her fingers through my hair. It’s awkward at first but it feels really nice. I can feel myself relaxing already as Gustus comes around to get us any drinks.

Once he leaves we slowly fall into small conversation, the tension still in the air but slowly fading. For once I actually feel genuinely calm. No anxiety at all right now which seems to never happen. I look over at Clarke to see her smiling at me and I turn back, a slight blush appearing on my cheeks. But I soon do the same as Raven and rest my head on Clarke’s shoulder as she keeps running her fingers through my hair. I breathe in the scent of hers. She smells so good.

I feel calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry about the delay. I was busy catching up on school work. Also sorry if I’ve gotten anything wrong about “college life” cuz I’m not in college yet. I’m finishing up my senior year of high school. So probably when I am I’ll come back to this and make a few tweaks to that part of it.  
> Sorry again about the delay I think I’m gonna make a plan for myself because I can’t write out a chapter every day. So I’m probably going to start posting chapters at least three days a week- unless I’m on a roll- but I’m setting a goal to keep myself writing so I’m going to try to regularly post chapters for this at least three days a week. And if I don’t post chapters for this, and/or am having writer’s block, I might post some one-shots.  
> So, until then, peace  
> -Ted


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a soccer game! Bitches be brutal! I spew medical nonsense! Yay!

**Chapter 8**

* * *

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

This is my first game in a while. And so far we suck, we’re not able to work as a team. Octavia is on the team so there’s that, and the rest of the team is pretty cool. The coach is too. It’s Ontari, since she also got a soccer scholarship here. She has it out for me and it’s affecting our game. The score is 12-7, and we’re losing. My patience is wearing thin. I tried to be civil toward her on the field so this wouldn’t happen but she’s not having it, and the other team is using that to their advantage.

I hear a blaring in my ears signifying the end of the third quarter and jog over to where the rest of my team is headed to our coach. She’s nice, her name is Becca Cerra. She’s quite young, not too much older than most of us. I grab my water and stand next to Octavia while we listened to her talk. She was giving us some words of encouragement and addressing us by our names and our positions for the last quarter of the game.

“Number 1 you’re going to need to play as hard as you can at this point, the other team’s getting restless. Number 4 you’ll need to play harder as well; you need to keep them from even getting close to ‘tari. We’re at a really critical point in this game now. We can’t let them score another goal. You are to keep them and try to make it get up to 8.” I am snapped back into focus at this as Ontari screeches.

“You can’t be serious? You actually expect her to be good enough to rely on her? She’s going to be the reason we lose for sure!” She groans.

“Yes. Ontari, I am sure. I have seen Ms. Woods play and she is quite good at it. I believe that if we play it like that then we may actually have a chance.” She responds, not bothering to look up from her clipboard as she does so. She continues addressing the other positions. I hear her talk to Octavia as center midfielder- number 8- and look at her, nodding at her as good luck. As we are signaled for the final quarter of the game to start we go to our positions. I hear Ontari mumble from behind me.

“If we lose it’s all your fault.” I roll my eyes as I stay faced forward. I look towards where the fans are and see my family and friends. I catch Clarke’s eye and she waves at me. I smile and a blush creeps on to my cheeks as the game begins again.

Our team takes off already ahead with the ball, Octavia is sprinting with it and already making the shot to the goal. We manage to score a goal with that and now the other team has the upper hand on the ball and are heading right towards me. I get directly in front of the big girl with the ball as her teammates begin to surround me. I’m able to steal the ball from her but as I’m getting crowded I’m not able to pass it to anyone, so I take off running with it, feigning different moves to throw them off. By the time I reach midfield I finally have an opening and shoot it towards number 6 who gets it to Octavia as is start to jog back to my position. On the way the ball travels back to our side of the field and as players scramble to get it I’m shoved before I’m promptly tripped. My balance already uneasy I end up falling and rolling onto the grass. I’m back up before I even realize what has even happened though and rushing to where the ball is on it’s heading towards Ontari’s direction. As the player on the other team begins to make the shot I intervene and block it by heading the ball. As everyone else runs after it I look back at Ontari and give her a smug look as she stares at me shocked.

* * *

 

The rest of the game is kind of a blur. We just barely managed to get the upper-hand on the other team and managed to win 13-14. I sit on the grass as I chug my water as Becca praises us. I feel Octavia drop down next to me.

We get up as the team starts to disperse to go meet our friends waiting for us. Clarke has worry etched on her face while Anya looks amused.

“Oso header, Heda.” She claps me on the back as I nod back to her. (Nice header, Commander.)

“Yu beda sin Clarke feisnes in.” (You should have seen Clarke’s face.)

I look back to the girl in question, worry still on her face. “You never seen a header before, Klarke?”

She shakes her head. “No I have, Octavia used to do them all the time, but that one was pretty hard. I’m just worried you might have a concussion.”

“I’m fine, just probably gonna have a headache for a while.” I try to reassure her.

“I would just feel a lot better if you let me check you out.” I look to the rest of the group. Octavia shrugs.

“Just do it. It’ll go a lot faster if you let her check it out. Then we can go grab a bite to eat.” As she says that, her stomach grumbles, making me chuckle. Clarke points her finger at the girl.

“You’re not off the hook, I also want to check out your knee from that fall. Sit down-both of you.” We both comply without question and sit down on a bench. Clarke starts with Octavia.

While she checks it out. “If I feel any need to take either of you to the hospital, that’s where we’re going-no question.”

“It’s only the first game of the season and you’ve both managed to get injured. Way to go.” Bellamy remarks sarcastically.

Clarke looks up from Octavia’s leg and gives her a look almost as if telling her that if she lies she’s gonna get even more hurt before asking her, “does your leg hurt anywhere.”

Octavia doesn’t try to fight it. “Kinda, I guess,” she shrugs, the gesturing to her knee, then to her calf. “I’m starting to feel pain around here.”

**(A/N: Fun fact, Octavia’s experience is almost the same as my cousins, except she tore her ACL after her team’s third game.)**

Clarke nods, examining Octavia’s knee still, noticing when she winces before standing up to move on to me.

“You said that you were going to have a headache later, do you have one now?” She asks me as she pulls out a pen light. ‘Wow, what a nerd’ I think jokingly as I nod and she turns it on before flashing it in my eyes. I hear her mumble “pupils are even” to herself as she goes through a mental checklist. It’s pretty amazing to see her in action. “Do you have anything else? Do you feel dizzy at all? Are your ears ringing?” She asks me, I wince slightly as I nod for both. She stands up and addressed us all.

“We’re going to the hospital to have the both of them checked out. I think Lexa has a concussion and Octavia might’ve torn something.” The rest of the group nod and turn to leave us alone with “Mama bear Clarke” as Raven calls her. She rushes in front of them to stop them. “We’re **all** going.” She tells them.

“Okay, mom.” I hear Bellamy respond and they turn back to help us to cars.

* * *

At the hospital ER they took Octavia first, and they just called for me. For an ER it really isn’t that packed. Mainly just ragged breathing and coughing and a few broken arms. Bellamy had gone with his sister as did Clarke. Lincoln and Anya walk with me to get examined, leaving the last three, Raven, Monty, and Jasper in the waiting room. The doctor checks me over after we explain the situation- and by we I mean Lincoln because as it turns out I may or may not have forgotten what had happened.

The doctor then confirms that I have a grade 2 concussion and I slight bone bruise from the trip I took, and we’re heading back out into the waiting room.

After about 10 minutes, Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia return, Octavia looking quite aggravated. They explain that she has a grade 1 PCL sprain and is going to be relatively incapacitated for a while. They point out the brace on her leg and explain what they understood from the treatment and physical therapy she’ll have to do. So I can tell that this is going to be fun. After that we go out do get some food like Octavia wanted, her mood slightly improved, and head back to our dorm.

Clarke follows us back as she demands to stay with us making sure we’re both okay.

I like seeing Clarke in doctor mode.

I didn’t even know she knew all that kind of stuff. I guess it’s a good thing though.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eugh. Trump is ruining my life. So the whole, “every other day” thing already isn’t working for me so I’m just gonna post whenever I’m able. A lot of this has been in Lexa’s P.O.V. because her’s is the easiest for me to write. Also I notice some continuity errors in last chapter that if this site ever allows me, should be updated by now I hope.  
> This chapter was pretty lame, I feel like. It was mainly me just rambling on about soccer, and then medical things. Yes, Lexa and Octavia are injured right now but there’s going to be a small time skip at the beginning of next chapter so they should be pretty much all good.   
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kinda sucks, sorry. Halloween is coming up. Gustus is sick. Wells returns. Astronomy.

**Chapter 9**

* * *

 

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

It’s been like two weeks since our last game and I’m pretty much totally recovered. My leg still hurts a lot sometimes though. Octavia’s still healing and she’s not really happy about that, because she’s missed four games already.

The months have actually passed pretty fast and we’re approaching the end of October and I’ve never seen a group of people get so excited about Halloween. Octavia, Clarke, and Raven have been planning a party at Bellamy’s supposedly since May. Wow. I’ve been trying to stay out of it, which is kinda hard when they come to my room to plan it, so I’ve just been heading to Grounders.

I get a ping from my phone as I’m walking out of my last class. I look to see that it’s Nyko.

_From: Nyko_

_Heya Lex. I don’t mean to be a burden what with all the work you have but Gustus is sick and keeps trying to work but I want him to rest. We just happen to be kinda understaffed today. Would you mind coming over and helping out with customers?_

_To: Nyko_

_Yeah, sure. I was actually headed there now so it’s no burden at all. Make sure that he gets some rest, I’ll be there in 5_.

I tuck my phone back in my pocket and head to Grounders. When I get there I understand asking for help. It’s swamped in there, and through the glass door I can see Nyko leading Gustus up the stairs to the top level where they live.

I walk in quickly and grab the uniform waist apron before going to get people’s orders. Then head back to the front and take the orders of those sitting on the stools. Their orders are pretty simple, since it’s normally just men and women on their lunch break. I give the orders to the cook in the back. From the top of their head I can see that it’s Anya. I turn back to the counter that the cash register is on, as well as my current essay.

I’m drawn from my work by someone in front of me clearing their throat. I look up to see Clarke’s friend- Wells, I think- standing there with a friendly smile on his face, standing with another guy who I assume is his friend. They look pretty out of place, considering that, except for a few people like Clarke and her friends, this place is mainly occupied by other people from Trikru.

Wells’ friend looks very standoffish, like he doesn’t want to be here all that much. He has long brown hair tied up in one of those man-buns, and dark brown eyes. He looks like he just came from a gym.

“Hey Lexa.” He greets me.

“Hey.” I greet back, offering him a smile. “What can I do for you?” I ask the men.

“Well actually, it’s more something we can do for each other. I noticed you guys were kinda understaffed and my buddy Finn here needs a job. I was thinking you could let him work here.” I told me.

“Wait, doesn’t your family own a café? I don’t mean to seem rude but why doesn’t he just work there.”

Wells rubs the back of his neck kinda sheepishly. “Well, ya see, my dad just kinda fired him from there, so…..” I nod in understanding so he doesn’t need to finish his sentence.

“Well, it’s not really my decision, I’ll have to ask my uncle but he’s sick right now and I can’t really leave my cousin alone down here while it’s so busy.” I explain.

“Well how about we cover for you long enough for you to ask him, consider it a trial run, and then after you talk to your uncle we could more into an actual interview.” Wells suggests. I sigh and rub my forehead right above my glasses in though before I look back at Anya. Even as busy as she is she was able to listen in on our conversation. She gives me a simple. “Ku.” Before I hand Finn an apron and head upstairs (Cool).

The conversation is short and I head back down after a few minutes to see the diner a lot calmer than it was before. I see Finn talking to a few customers at one of the booths, grinning at them and joking before walking away to the register as they gather their stuff and leave. Wells is sitting on one of the stools next to him.

My presence draws their attention. I tell them that Nyko will conduct an interview with Finn tomorrow and they thank me, returning the apron before heading out.

The rest of the shift is pretty uneventful as the lunch rush dies down and Anya is able to come out from the back kitchen and sit with me as I watch people outside walk by.

* * *

By the time I get back to my dorm it’s 8:00 and I can’t wait to crawl into my bed. I’m exhausted. Once I walk into my room, I notice that it’s empty since Octavia’s just been doing a lot of resting because of her leg. I don’t question it though because she’s probably just with Lincoln. I get into my bed and pull up my computer and get on Netflix.

I’m not really sure when I fell asleep but I’m hastily woken up by someone shaking my shoulder. When I open my eyes, I notice my glasses are askew fix them as I see Clarke’s face.

“Hey.” She greets me softly.

“What time is it?” I ask her groggily.

“Almost midnight.” She tells me. I look over to Octavia’s bed to see she’s still not back.

“We’re all outside.” Clarke tells me. “C’mon you have to see this, it’s pretty cool.” I sit up, closing my laptop and putting a sweater on before following her outside.

“What’s so cool that you have wake me up at 11:55?” I ask her as she drags me down the hallway and outside the dorm building where the rest of the group is. Once we’re in front of them she lets me go and points ahead of us in the sky. I gasp.

“Isn’t the moon huge?!” She asks me, excitement in her voice and I nod.

“It’s called a super moon.” I tell her, amazed at the sight. This has got to be the closest it’s ever been.

“Dude. Yes, super moon is an awesome name for it.” I hear Raven speak up behind me, I hear Lincoln whisper to Octavia, “told you Lexa was an astronomy nerd.”

**(A/N: Yes, I’m referencing the Super moon that happened just last November, so I know it’s not the actual date cuz as mentioned before, this isn’t November, but just work with me.)**

As we’re walking back to our dorms Clarke wraps her arm around me and gives me a knowing look.

“So, astronomy, huh?” I blush and nod.

“I’ve always been interested in astronomy and space in general. I always wanted to go up there when I was younger.”

“Ah,” She nods, “so it was just a childhood fantasy?” She pokes my cheek. I swat her hand away and blush harder. “Not exactly. I still want to.”

“Yeah, she’s just so desperate to go back to where she came from.” I hear Lincoln shout from behind me as he helps Octavia.

“Jok of, Lincoln.” I shoot back, before stepping into our dorm, saying my goodbyes to the rest of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. Sorry about the delay I just really needed to not do anything this weekend so I could focus on school, and then had to get together with family. I might have to take a hiatus soon because I have exams but it won’t be long. I’m having a bad case of writer’s block.  
> So, I’m pretty sure this chapter sucked. Sorry about that. Giving me suggestions for next chapter would really help me out. In the mean time I might post some more one-shots.  
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween. There's stress. We hate Finn.

**Chapter 10**

* * *

 

**Lexa's P.O.V.**

The days since the super moon flew by and its already Halloween day. Conveniently today was also the day that Octavia got the okay to start doing things like normal, however she does have to keep going to physical therapy for her leg, which she is not happy about. She, Raven, and Clarke have been alternating between our dorm and theirs getting things ready. They really are excited about this, and it's only 8:45 in the morning, usually only Raven and I are the only ones up at this time for our classes. They have the whole day to prepare.

I watch them in amusement occasionally glancing away from the book I'm only half reading. It's pretty amusing to watch the hustle and bustle of Halloween preparation. I never really celebrated the holiday that much-I mean, I would go trick or treating as a kid, and pass it out once I got older but that's about it. I never saw the appeal of it that much but I enjoy seeing other people freak out over it.

I announce that I'm going to get ready for class after about fifteen minutes of that chaos. Raven, realizing the time, decides to do the same. As we both head off to get ready, Clarke offers to us to come to Wells' café afterwards since they normally do something for Halloween, a small party of sorts. She already knows Raven's answer and looks to me for mine. I reluctantly agree. I want to go out and have fun with them, of course, but the thought of how many people are going to be there-as well as tonight at Bellamy's party that I also agreed to-has got my kind of on edge. I just can't seem to say no to Clarke. Especially when she looks at me with those glistening blue eyes.

I take a quick shower and start to get ready, putting on some makeup (A/N: As mentioned before, I'm no good at describing makeup) and getting dressed. I grab my glasses, hoodie, and beanie and I'm out the door by 9:30. The social justice building isn't too far so it gives me some time to take in the weather change that I seems to have noticed being in my dorm so often. Red, yellow, and orange leaves have started to cover the ground, seeing all the soft, calm colours that nature provides us this time of year makes me at peace. Autumn has always been my favourite season because of this.

* * *

The class goes by quickly and I head out, greeted outside the doors by Raven leaning against what seems to have been deemed "our tree". Sometimes the classes end at different times, so normally one of us will wait for the other before going off somewhere. I nod to her and she nods back and we begin walking side by side to Jaha's. When we get there I see their decorations for the first time. The exterior and interior are all pimped out in black and orange.

Over in our usual corner of the café we see Clarke already there waving to us to which we wave back before ordering our drinks. Once we are provided with them we head over to where Clarke sits with Bellamy, Jasper, and Wells. After we exchange greetings and pleasant small-talk, we fall into a peaceful silence, which I relish in. Despite being able to call these people my friends, anxiety still washes over me and I get uncomfortable.

After a few more minutes of the quiet I had been enjoying so much, the rest of our posse fill in to the shop and take the leftover seats at the table. Discussions start about the upcoming events tonight and can feel my throat close up a little bit as anxiety starts to take over a little. Lincoln seems to sense as much and discreetly leans over to me.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to you know. Either me or Anya could make up an excuse for you." He suggests. I smile back at his thoughtfulness. He and Anya have always been patient when it came to this, and I'm grateful for that, but I do need to face this on my own, and I tell him as much.

"I already told Clarke I'm coming and I'm not going to retract that." I tell him. Both of us knowing anyway that if it gets too bad that I will leave if need be. This seems to satisfy him and he straightens himself back up and grins at Octavia who lets her head fall onto his shoulder.

I look over at the two of them and smile. Despite my initial thoughts I'm kind of glad they ended up together. Lincoln looks happier than he has in a while. He'd try to deny that though- that he wasn't happy- but I can always see through him, even when I was in my own funk.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by someone unabashedly bursting into laughter, drawing the other patron's attention to our corner. Making the rest of us join in.

"Oh hey, Clarke." A spiteful voice pulls us out of our mirth and takes us by surprise. It seems to hastily sober up Bellamy, Octavia, and Raven while the rest of us remain confused. Clarke remains frozen in her place it seems. I'm unable to see who the person who brought this revulsion to us because he stands right behind me but based on Clarke's reaction, I really don't like him myself.

I continue to gauge Clarke's reaction, worry clearly etched on my face when the voice speaks up again.

"BTW, Wells, I didn't get a chance to thank you for the job you helped get me. I've been so busy working that I haven't seen you." He says to the man who now looks slightly uncomfortable at the situation. I am finally able to put a face to the voice when I finally turn around to face him. I come face to face with sinister brown eyes and an impish smirk of the man with his hair pulled back in one of those man buns that only assholes have, crouched down so he can be at eye level with most of us.

"Oh hey Lexa, hey Anya!" Finn says as if just now noticing our presence. "I didn't get a chance to thank you guys either, your uncle and his friend have got me so busy lately. Thank you guys so much." He exaggeratedly says. His face is so close to mine at this point that the only air I can breathe in is that of his stench. The smell of cigarette smoke radiates off of him. How had I not noticed it before?

Finn finally steps back and waves to us with a grin. "Well, I just wanted to stop by and say thanks, Wells. I should be on my way." Before he leaves he leans down and whispers something in Clarke's ear that makes her tense. I grit my teeth at this, he makes me want to punch him in the face. I don't get a chance though as he is escorted out by Bellamy. When he came back he rested his hand on her shoulder.

"You okay there, princess?" She stiffly nodded in response.

"Okay, what the hell was that?" Jasper voiced a few minutes after the silence, but no one answered.

Octavia looks over to Anya and then me. "I can't believe you guys gave him a job. That guy's an asshole!"

"Well it's not like we knew anything about him." Anya responded. "He just came in with Wells and him being a friend of yours, Clarke, we assumed this Finn guy was as well." She said as she faced Clarke, who was starting to look less tense, however now she looked exhausted.

"And it's not like we just gave him the job." She continued. "They came in on a day where we were really busy, on top of the fact that it was lunch rush and my father was sick, we gave him a trial run, then when he was able to, he had a job interview with Nyko, who ended up hiring him."

"If he's a threat to you though, don't hesitate to tell any of us and we will have him fired. Grounders is a peaceful place where any and everyone is welcome so if Finn can't meet that standard with you he shouldn't work there." I assured her. She gave me a weary smile in thanks and stood up.

"I think I'm gonna head back to our room, maybe try to sleep a little before tonight." She announces, I get up after she does.

"I'll walk you back." I tell her. "I have some work I have to finish anyway." I say as we say our goodbyes and walk out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha! I have returned! And exams are finally over thankfully. Eugh I'm so exhausted it was nonstop stressville. So now I can get back to this. The Ink is a Souvenir should be up soon, probably closer to Monday cuz I've been spending all my time writing chapters to this.  
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the Halloween party. Alcohol is involved. Something happens. oooowwwooooooooooo~

**Chapter 11**

* * *

**Lexa P.O.V.**

Once I got Clarke back to our building and into her room, she practically collapsed onto her bed, she seemed exhausted from that encounter. Any excitement from earlier about tonight had left her body. I sat next to her on her bed until she was asleep. When she seemed out cold I stood up to take my leave. Before I could get too far, my wrist was grabbed. I turned back to see Clarke's outstretched hand holding it.

"Please. Don't go." She whispered to me.

"Okay." I told her. "I'll stay with you." I climbed more onto the bed to get comfortable as she started to fall back asleep. I used my free arm and pulled out my phone, shooting a text back to a worried Lincoln that Clarke was fine and we made it back safe. After I put my phone back I stared at the girl in front of me. The tears that I hadn't noticed before had made their way down her cheeks. Her cheeks were red and there were splotches of red covering her face and her breathing was slightly ragged, like how I get after an anxiety attack.

Despite all these things, I still can't stop thinking about how beautiful she always looks, even in this moment, she's gorgeous. She subconsciously nuzzles into me in her sleep and I wrap my arm around her. As I breathe in her scent I succumb to sleep as well.

I don't know when I woke up but from what I can see through Clarke's window, the day is descending into the evening. I internally groan, whatever classes I had left I've missed. I feel rustling beneath me from the covers and my eyes fall from the window to the sight in front of me staring right back.

"Hey," I greet her. "Have you been awake long?" She shakes her head no, and we start to untangle ourselves.

"Sorry." She says quietly. "You must think I'm a mess."

"No, not at all." I tell her, rising up from the bed. "Do you feel better?" I ask.

"Yeah, thanks for staying with me."

"Don't mention it." I tell her. After a few awkward minutes I pull out my phone and look at the missed texts from our friends. Clarke does the same and groans. I chuckle lightly at her. It's 9:00 and according to Bellamy earlier, his party is soon. I inform Clarke that I'm going to head back to my dorm and promise to meet her at Bellamy's. She nods back as a response and starts to pull out her outfit for tonight.

I glance back at her one more time before I walk out as she faces away from me and begins unbuttoning her shirt. I blush at the thoughts that start to run through my brain and close the door.

When I open the door to my dorm I am bombarded by people who must've taken refuge there for Clarke. I reassure them that she's fine, we had just fallen asleep and that she is now getting dressed. This seems to satisfy them and the ones that don't live there file out of the room.

Once the room is cleared besides Octavia and myself, we get out the costumes that we had. She looks back at me, I can see the question and nod, reassuring her once again that Clarke is better.

* * *

About half an hour later, there's a knock on our door. Octavia opens it and lets Clarke in so we can add the finishing touches. Raven and Octavia are going as Alexis Spencer from the movie, Detention and a post-apocalyptic survivor respectively and Octavia is looking like someone from the trikru and Lincoln is going to be matching Octavia as a ripa, or a reaper in our language. Clarke and I are going also as post-apocalyptic people, me from a zombie apocalypse and her from a nuclear apocalypse. She's wearing a dark blue top with a black leather jacket, combat boots and tight dark skinny jeans that show off her great ass.

I mentally slap myself out of it. I can't be thinking about her ass right now. She makes her way over to me and assesses my costume before dragging me over to another part of the room to add the makeup. I have on a green sweat jacket and dark skinny jeans with tan boots, all of which are ripped and messed with to look like I've been attacked and my glasses stay in a case that I keep in a pocket. I try to occupy myself as Clarke puts the makeup on different parts of my body. She's currently working on my leg and when she moves up to one of my arms I look down at the work done and am momentarily startled. I have three deep looking gashes on my thigh where they show through a hole in the jeans. I never realized Clarke could be that good at special affects makeup.

After she works on my arm she goes on to my face, to make it look more authentic.

* * *

Once she finishes we both stand up, Octavia and Raven are staring at us from where they stand, already set to go, giving us knowing looks. I roll my eyes at the two of them and we head out to Bellamy's. Once we get there, the place is already packed and I can feel my heartrate start to increase. I ignore it though and walk inside with the rest of them.

I've never really gotten a view of Bellamy's place before, I've been a few times with Octavia or Lincoln (or both) but never got a chance to really look around, especially when there's as many people as now. He's even got his own bar set up.

I spot Anya in a corner by said bar looking really out of place, as she seems to usually. Anya at first glance doesn't seem like the person to enjoy these kinds of things but she actually does. At the moment, the group that we arrived in starts to split up, so I head over to my cousin. She silently hands me a drink to help me relax and not feel so on edge. One drink isn't going to do that though but it will help. If I'm going to be here the whole night I'm going to need some liquid courage to help me last.

After a few moments of the silence between us, I break off from Anya and decide to wander around the place. It's big and I wonder how Bellamy can even afford this, even with roommates. In one of the rooms I walk by I take in a beer pong game already going on. I chuckle to myself when I see that it is a team of Lincoln and Octavia against two other unfortunate souls. As I start to walk away from the game I chuckle again at the sounds of cheering that tell me Octavia and Lincoln won. This entire building is so loud, all the sounds combine with each other and seem to make white noise.

I head back to the bar and get myself another drink, only my third of the night and make my way to a couch in the middle of another room that isn't as occupied, however that doesn't last long and I am soon interrupted by large drunk football players shoving each other around like idiots.

Once I make my way past them I decide that maybe going outside would be the best decision. I find out how right I am when I walk outside to see I am the only one. I welcome the silence and the cool breeze of the wind that hits me. It's refreshing as I step further away from the building and sit myself down underneath a nearby tree.

I close my eyes and rest my head on the trunk of the tree but am jerked back from it when I hear the door open. Clarke comes stumbling out with a drink in her hand. How many drinks has she had? She looks up from her feet as she focused on walking without falling and waves at me with a goofy grin on her face.

"Hey Lexa!" She greets me cheerily. I wave back as she carefully closes the door like she doesn't want to hurt it. "What are you doing out here all by your lonesome?" She asks me with a hiccup. I shrug in response.

"Just wanted to get some fresh air." I tell her. "It was starting to get a little stuffy in there." She nods with a serious expression and makes her way over to me haphazardly, drink in her hand slightly spilling over her hand.

Once she reaches me she staggers and ends up falling, I miraculously catch her though but she drops her drink, which she then feels sad about before she shifts her attention back to me and seemingly forgets about it.

"You're always by yourself." She says with a small sigh. "it makes me sad, you always look so lonely." I remain silent at this and she keeps talking.

"I don't like seeing you be alone. I want to be with you so you never have to be." She slightly trips over the words. I'm surprised by what she's saying and my heart begins to race. I can feel my face start to turn red as hers inches closer to it. Before I can blink, her lips are on mine. My heart stops, everything stops. I can't think straight. Everything's stopped but everything's going off at the same time. I can't breathe. Warning sirens are going off in my head and my ears are ringing. When my heart seems to start beating again its much faster than it should be and I can't take it. I lightly shove Clarke off me enough to stand up and stagger to my feet, struggling to get my footing before looking back at the girl who looks at me with just as surprised of an expression and bolt. I don't even think about it; I can't control my feet. I just run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys, once again leave me suggestions for things to happen in future chapters.  
> Did you guys like the costume references? If you didn't get Raven's and Lexa's; Lindsey Morgan played a girl named Alexis Spencer in a movie called Detention that starred Josh Hutcherson and Alycia Debnam-Carey is currently in a show called Fear the Walking Dead. Her characters still okay though (as far as I know anyway) so don't freak out about her character being killed off that show.  
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the Halloween party. There's a search party. Clexa talks.

**Chapter 12**

* * *

**Lexa's P.O.V.**

I don't know where I'm going. I'm just letting my feet carry me to wherever it is. All I know is that I need to get away from there. I thought about just going back to the dorm, but I know that I'd be confronted later if I did that. I can't believe that just happened.

My lungs are on fire and the once calming breeze is cold and sharp against my cheeks. I'm not even near Bellamy's or the dorm building now. I stop running and take in my sights to figure out where to go from here and immediately recognize my surroundings. I start walking down the street and walk past a few more streets before I reach my destination. Grounders.

I make my way to the back of the restaurant and unlock the reserved door with the key that we all have. I sneak my way in and go up the stairs until I reach a door. Before I can even knock on it, the door is hastily opened and I am face to face with my uncle Gustus wielding a metal bat.

"Lexa…." He sighs relieved. "What are you doing here, isn't one of your friends having a party tonight?" He asks me. He must've found out from Anya.

"I-I had to get away." I state bluntly, looking down at the ground. I can feel his eyes scanning me.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He asks slightly alarmed.

"I'm not hurt. These are just part of the costume." I inform him.

"Are you okay?" He repeats. I shrug my shoulder.

"I thi- I….I don't know." I tell him honestly. He looks at me sympathetically before shifting away from the door. "Do you want to stay here tonight?" He asks tentatively. I give a small nod and he lets he lets me inside.

I let Gustus guide me to the small couch that is set up in front of a TV in the living room while he goes into the kitchen. When he returns he has hands me a water to help with the alcohol in my system and sets down a few snacks, also leaving a few things for the next morning on the coffee table in front of us before turning on the TV.

I rest my head on his shoulder as we watch old TV reruns until we start to fall asleep. I gather up my things and head to what became my shared room with Anya for the past five years.

When I wake up the first thing I notice is the hangover. I didn't drink much but clearly my body thinks I did. I raise my head enough to see where I threw my stuff, panicking for a second as to where I was. I calmed myself and remembered what happened last night and how I ended up at Grounders. I grab the pills and water off the nightstand and swallow them in one gulp before slipping on my glasses and reaching for the crackers that were also left there.

Once I feel like I can move around without vomiting I get up and strip off my costume from the party and get in the shower.

When I get out I take out some clothes that I left here and get dressed before making my way out into the kitchen where Gustus is making breakfast. The smell of fresh coffee brewing is intoxicating to me and he hands me a cup of the golden liquid. After a few minutes of small talk, I tell Gustus that I'm going to head out before he can stop me. I grab the spare key to my car and walk out the door, bumping into Nyko on his way up as I leave.

I back my car out of the garage behind the diner and drive away.

* * *

 

**Clarke's P.O.V.**

I sit shocked on the rough ground as I watch Lexa sprint away from me. What did I just do? It was just a kiss. What even just happened? The whole ordeal seemed to sober me up enough to decide to go back inside and find Anya or Lincoln. I manage to scramble onto my feet and go back in to face to the chaotic party.

After ten minutes of searching I find Lincoln and pull him away from where he was making out with a plastered Octavia.

"Lincoln…I did something bad." I tell him, suddenly feeling all my nerves start to react.

"Well what did you do?" He asked me. I looked down at my feet in thought. I hadn't really done anything.

"Well, ya see..I'm not exactly sure. I walked outside and saw Lexa sitting out there by herself and went over to her. And…I kissed her. And at first I thought it was fine, but then she just shoved me away and bolted. I don't know where she went." I explained, tears beginning to well in my eyes. I looked up to the man to see a look of fear spread across his face.

"Shitshitshit this is bad. Ai lok em op." I heard him mumble before he grabbed my wrist and dragged me through the building, Octavia following behind. (We have to find her.)

He finally stopped dragging me when we ran into Anya, seeing the distress on his face she got concerned. I explained the situation to her and soon their expressions were matching.

We gathered up the rest of our group, leaving Bellamy behind to control the rest of the residents and watch in case Lexa came back, and split into search groups, me ending up in one with Anya. As we walked around campus I could feel her eyes boring into my back and hear her mumbling what I can only assume were not pleasant things in Trigedasleng.

I don't know how long we had all been searching but before I knew it we were heading back to meet up with the others and it was almost 3:00 AM. I prayed in my head that maybe someone had found her and just forgot to tell the rest of us. However, my prayers went unanswered when the others returned with just as solemn faces as me and Anya.

"Maybe she'll be back by tomorrow. We should all get some rest." Monty tried to reason. We all begrudgingly obliged and walked back to our respective homes.

* * *

In the morning I woke up with a pounding headache. Oh yeah, I forgot about hangovers. I suddenly remembered what happened last night and jumped out of my bed, an action which I immediately regretted as I felt my stomach flip. I rushed to the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach. Through the sounds of this I could hear Raven waking up and rummaging through our things. When I finished and opened the door she stood there and produced medication and water for me before walking past. I sat on my bed as I took the pills when there was a knock at the door. I rushed to open hoping that it was Lexa so I could apologize and find out exactly why she freaked out.

However, I was disappointed when Octavia was revealed to be on the other side, telling me that Lexa still hadn't returned. After that discussion she left to get ready for her classes and that's when I realized the time and decided to do the same. It was almost 12:00.

I thought that maybe classes would take my mind off of Lexa for the time being but this was not the case. I was distracted the whole time- completely zoned out- and I know that people could tell, but I couldn't bring myself out of it.

When classes were over, I met up with Octavia and Raven, and were then joined by Lincoln and Anya as we continued our search for our friend. After an hour we headed to her family's diner, Grounders, where Anya promptly asked her dad if he had seen Lexa at all since last night.

He explained that, yes, he had and that Lexa stayed the night there but left early in the morning and he hadn't seen her since.

"Well that was pretty much a bust. Do either of you know where Lexa might've gone if she's not here?" Raven asked the cousins. They looked at each other in thought before realization took over their features.

"You don't think…?" Anya started.

"I do." Lincoln answered.

They conversed in Trigedasleng for a short amount of time while we stood to the side before turning back to us. Anya promptly put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me out of the diner to her car.

"C'mon, blondie. You're coming with me. You made this mess so you're going to be the one to fix it."

* * *

The drive was silent. I tried to ask Anya where we were going but she refused to answer me. Once we got on the highway I got really curious but she was ignoring me. At some point I had fallen asleep and was rudely awoken by Anya roughly shoving me. We remained in her car for a few minutes before all my senses returned and I took in the area. We were at a cemetery and quite frankly I was confused as to why. Anya got out of her car and waited for me to follow before grabbing me by the arm and leading me to wherever we were going.

It all made sense when it came into view. We were walking towards two gravestones that had fresh flowers planted in front of them. Their names read Angelik Woods and Roman Woods.

'Lexa's parents.' I thought sadly. 'This is where she goes? I made her need to come here?'

We walked some ways past the gravestones and came up on a barren hill. It had remained untouched. At the top there was a figure laying in the grass. Anya let go of my arm and stopped where she stood.

"Go on." She gestured to the top of the hill. I complied and treaded up before I reached the top of it and sat down gently on the fresh green grass. A breeze blew by and I tightened the jacket I had been wearing tighter around my body. I looked over to the person next to me who still remained unbothered by the cold wind. They were laying on their back with long leg arched up over the other and an arm covering their eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whisper following a few moments of silence. "I never wanted to scare you, Lexa. I really care about you, that was never my intention." I get no response.

"You were there for me almost the entire day after the whole Finn thing and then I just had to go and ruin it because I was drunk." At this the girl next to her began to shift and sit up while my gaze remained straight ahead, staring off at the view the small hill provided.

"It's not your fault." A small voice finally spoke, causing me to turn my head and look at the source of the voice. Lexa looked tired, like she'd been there all day.

"I may have overreacted when it happened. I tend to do that." Lexa sighs. I chose remain silent as I listened to Lexa speak.

"I…I had a girlfriend, her name was Costia. We were really in love, together for two years before I moved from Azgeda High, we decided we could handle going to different schools. That probably lasted three months. I stopped by to visit her and found her in bed with Ontari, whom she'd been cheating on me with almost since we started dating. It broke me, she said she was only pity dating me because my parents had died. I haven't been with anyone since. So, when you kissed me, I freaked. All these potential scenarios went through my head and I was so terrified that I didn't want a replay of Costia that I ran."

I put my hand on Lexa's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "Lexa, I am so sorry that happened to you, I can't even imagine what that would have been like. I've been cheated on before, by Finn, the guy you hired, but it was nowhere near as bad as that was. I swear I would never do something like that. It would be cruel to anyone. I would never want to hurt you like Costia did, I wouldn't pity date you. Lexa, I kissed you at the party because I like you, I never want you to think otherwise."

"Thanks Clarke. I….I like you too. But I don't think I'm ready for anything just yet." Lexa's told me.

"That's okay." I tell her with a small smile, despite the fact that it kind of hurt. "It's okay if you're not ready yet. I'll wait." I take my hand off her shoulder and stand up to stretch then hold out the same hand again.

"Think we should head back down? Anya's waiting here somewhere and I don't want to make her any angrier at me." I suggest. Lexa takes my hand and I help her to her feet. We don't let go and end up walking down the hill hand in hand. Anya's already over by her car, leaning up against it waiting for us. When we come into view, I can see her eyes light up just slightly.

The ride back to the university is quiet, but not like before. Lexa and I talked and we're better. It's a comfortable silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, I figured I should tell you that chapters 10-15 had been written in advance, I just hadn't had time to post these because of exams. At which point should be over now, so leave me suggestions of what to put in future chapters, or ideas for one-shots/ my next fic.  
> I hoped you liked this chapter. Took me literally three days to write. In the next one there's gonna be a time jump to Thanksgiving just to get on with the plot.  
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, like i said, skipping to Thanksgiving.

**Chapter 13**

* * *

 

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

The month of November had flown by fairly quickly, tests and essays along with. Our whole group was gathered in mine and Octavia’s dorm talking about our plans for Thanksgiving the next day with bags packed for when they leave to go celebrate with their families. It’s not really something my family celebrates. When this is mentioned we’re met with identical looks of shock from all of the room’s current occupants.

“So you guys don’t have a giant turkey that your family argues about the preparation for?” Raven asks, we all shake our heads no at this.

“No cranberry sauce?” No.

“No gravy?” No.

“No apple pie?” No.

“You guys don’t watch football?” Bellamy asks.

“Well, actually we do watch football.” Lincoln concedes.

“So what exactly do you guys do do for the holiday?” Questions Octavia.

“We don’t really do anything. Our family’s never really been big on holidays besides the few that the Trikru have. When we were younger our parents would take us hunting on holidays but we’ve since stopped.” I answer.

“Well that is unacceptable.” Jasper jumps in. “You can’t just not celebrate Thanksgiving in some way, even if it’s just sitting down and eating turkey together.”

“Yeah,” Monty joins. “Thanksgiving has become so commercialized anyway these days that no one even really cares about the real reason for it anymore.”

“Well, it’s not like we’re going to be sitting around doing nothing.” Anya justified. “We do have plans. They’re just not like what your plans are.”

This seemed to quench the rest of the group enough to leave the family alone for the rest of the day they had together.

As the day comes to a close we walk the rest of our friends to their cars and say our goodbyes until they come back at the end of the week.

“So what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?” Clarke asks as she climbs into her ride with the Blakes. I shrug at her. “We’re probably gonna spend time with Gustus and Nyko, maybe try to talk to Indra if we can and help out with the people that come to the diner.” I say.

Clarke gives me a strange look that I can’t figure out what it means and climbs the rest of the way into the car before they drive off. The three of us make our way to Grounders and make ourselves busy with small tasks. The diner is almost completely empty sans for a few stragglers who haven’t left yet. The atmosphere stays peaceful as quiet music pours out from the speakers overhead, mingling with small chatter from people sitting at the stools with Lincoln. We’re the only one’s working since we had fired Finn back at the beginning of the month when we found out how he had treated someone who was wearing a hijab. That is not something we tolerate, this diner is welcome to any and everyone who steps through the doors. We already planned on firing him but he had crossed the line with that.

We stayed open later than usual for other people who had nowhere else to go and finally made our way upstairs when we did close around midnight. Once in the living room, Lincoln challenges me to a competition on one of his games. Never being able to turn down a challenge, I accept while Anya watches from the side.

After a few more rounds ending with me beating Lincoln and him sulking face first into the couch I make my way into mine and Anya’s shared room and check my phone. I have a few mixed texts from Clarke telling me that she and the Blake’s had arrived safely at her mom’s house and that I’m apparently missing out big time. I text her back.

_To: Clarke_

_I’m sure I am. You should tell Octavia to go text her boyfriend and make him stop sulking cuz it’s not attractive._

I send her a picture along with it that I took in my victory of Lincoln spread out carelessly on our small couch with his face shoved in the cushion.

We text each other back and forth for a little while longer before I head off to sleep and turn my phone off.

* * *

In the morning I’m rudely awoken by banging on the door downstairs. In my drowsy state I blindly search for my glasses and phone before getting up. I stumble out of the apartment before making my way down. The bright sun shining through the glass at the front of the diner makes me squint my eyes before I turn and head toward the back door. Opening it I see Nyko who looks exhausted leaning against the wall.

“Oh thank god.” He breathes out. “It’s freezing out here.” As he says this I finally feel a rush of wind and shiver, I step aside to let him in.

“I rushed out of my house to get here early and I forgot my jacket, then I noticed I left my house keys in the house, and then my car ran out of gas and it just went downhill from there.” He explains.

“Well jeez.” I say simply, making my way upstairs as he follows. “How long have you been out there?” I ask, finally checking my phone. It’s almost 7:00 A.M.

“Almost an hour since I was going to open up while you guys were still waking up.” We made our way back into the apartment and I walked straight to the coffee machine and pull out two mugs from the cabinet above it before pouring us both some. I carry the mug over to where Nyko sits at the couch trying to warm up and hand it to him. We both take a sip of the golden liquid as the bitter taste runs down our throats and sigh as I take a seat next to him. We both drink it black, in fact, we’re the only one’s here that do. The rest of my family thinks we’re crazy.

“So where is the rest of the fam?” Nyko asks, breaking the morning’s silence.

“Still asleep I guess. We stayed open pretty late last night and were awake for a while after that. I don’t know when they all finally passed out.” I respond and the silence falls over us again before he rises once the coffee has made its course through our bodies.

“I’m going to go open up for breakfast. I’ll see you down there.” He states, to which I nod back. “If the others aren’t awake by ten we’ll have to think of a punishment for them being late.” He jeers, making me smile at him as he takes his leave down the stairs into the diner.

I sit on the couch a little longer before standing up myself and making my way back into my room to get ready for the day. After I take a shower and put a light amount of makeup on I grab my glasses and put on a pair of whitewashed skinny jeans, a black long sleeve shirt and a sweater along with my maroon converse and head down the stairs to assist Nyko, grabbing a waist apron and making my way to the first client I see and take their order.

It’s good for Nyko that I had come down when I did because right when I finished with my first customers of the day, people began to pour in for Thanksgiving breakfast. This normally happens, especially here since we’re one of the very few places that stay open on Thanksgiving. The morning is always hectic and I start to think we won’t be able to handle it when Anya finally descends down the stairs wide awake and grabs a waist apron and quickly gets to work.

The rush relaxes as we go into the afternoon and we head upstairs for a break when all the people have left for the time being. Lincoln and Gustus are still out cold so naturally like Nyko said, they’re going to have to face a punishment, one that Anya gets to help carry out instead of receive. You never want to be on the receiving end of Anya’s wrath so she tends to avoid it.

We fill up buckets with water and go our separate ways. Nyko enters Gustus’ room while we handle Lincoln. The entire building is silent for a moment before the sound of harmonizing screeches fill the air.

We laughed at their misfortune as they run to get away from their now soaked beds. This is something we can only do when Indra is away otherwise she’d kill us for getting her and Gustus’ bed wet when he sleeps in.

Nyko comes trailing behind Gustus out of his room clutching his gut in laughter.

“Hey you guys know what happens if you miss the breakfast rush, and Gustus you own the diner, come on.”

We toss the guys some towels to dry off with before we leave them alone to go eat ourselves. Once they’re awake completely and dressed for the day Gustus and Lincoln make their way down the stairs to handle the few people that come in for lunch while the three of us turn on the TV and veg our on the couch for a while.

* * *

 

Time passes quickly as we struggle to find ways to entertain ourselves and 4:00 rolls around when Gustus comes up the stairs but Lincoln isn’t behind him.

“Leksa, Anya, der bilaik kru hir mana yu.” We hear Gustus announce. We share a confused glance with each other before standing up and heading down the stairs. (There are people here for you)

“I swear if Gustus only said that to get us back for waking them up I’m going to kill them.” Anya growls, making me laugh, however she’s smart to not trust them after this morning. When we make it down the stairs we’re shocked by the sight in front of us.

“Lexa!” My name is shouted before I can react and I get trapped in a bear hug. My body tenses on reflex and I can feel with hugger start to pull away even though I actually don’t want them to.

“Is this okay?” They ask and when they pull away, Clarke’s face is really close to mine. I can feel my cheeks get hot.

“Y-yeah. This is nice.” I stutter out, smiling comfortingly at her. “But what are you doing here? I thought you guys were celebrating Thanksgiving with your family.” I ask.

“We celebrated enough last night. And when you guys said that you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving we all thought that wasn’t okay, so we’re celebrating it here with you. Whether you like it or not.” She jests, tapping me lightly on the nose.

She smiles before stepping to the side so I can get a view of the diner. The lights have been dimmed and yellow, orange, and brown decorations have been put in various places. The tables have been pushed together to seat all the people of our group that I hear. I look over at Lincoln who already has Octavia sitting in his lap with the most love-struck expression I have ever seen on his face. It makes me smile. I look over at Anya and see her sitting next to Raven. They’ve been seeming a lot closer lately. I wonder what’s going on with the two of them.

Clarke drags me over to the large table covered with various foods by my arm and makes me sit down next to her and we all settle down and begin to eat. At some point during the meal, our free hands made their way to one another. I looked over to her as she laughed at something Bellamy just said that made Octavia blush. God she’s so beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was that. Hoped you liked the Thanksgiving chapter because next chapter I’m going to be skipping to Christmas and I have something planned for New Years. We’re coming up on the current date in this fic so whenever that happens I might take a break from this fic for a little bit to start working on others but I won’t stop for too long.   
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to celebrate the holidays

**Chapter 14**

* * *

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

Soon after Thanksgiving, snow started to cover the ground and the autumn season transitioned into winter. Everyone has been swamped with exams and praying for winter break to come faster. However, despite the cold weather, I was perfectly comfortable, unlike Clarke and Raven whom I was walking to Jaha’s with. I had offered for us to drive there but they both refused and I could tell they were regretting that decision-especially Clarke who was only wearing a hoodie with her high school’s logo, at least Raven was bundled up- after a few more minutes of teeth chattering I couldn’t take it anymore and shrugged off my jacket and held it out to Clarke.

She looked at me confused for a moment and I gestured for her to take it.

“I can’t do that; you’ll be cold too Lexa.” I gave her an indifferent shrug.

“I’m used to this kind of weather; I can take it until we get to Jaha’s. You on the other hand are visibly shivering and I’m pretty sure that the rest of the group can hear your teeth chattering, take the jacket.” After I told her this, she graciously accepted the clothing and slipped it on. It was slightly big o her and the arms went over her hands a little but she didn’t seem to mind. She looked really cute wearing my cute. I blushed at this thought and stared at the ground I was walking on, focusing on the trek to the café, nearly walking into Raven in the process.

When I looked up to the other brunette she was smirking and giving me a knowing look causing me to blush harder.

When we step into the café, attention is brought onto us causing me to become uncomfortable and shy away. Once we spot our friends we walk towards that and Lincoln gives me a subtle thumbs up, reminding me that Clarke is still wearing my jacket. I don’t mind though and sit down in the empty chair next to him, and Clarke sits down next to me.

Wells silently brings the rest of us some drinks and sits down completing our group. He still feels a little wary after what happened back in October, but we’ve almost completely forgiven him, since it wasn’t really his fault. The awkward silence is broken by a cough coming from Jasper.

“So….” He starts. “Christmas break is coming up, what are you guys going to do for it?”

“Well, our family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, we actually celebrate Winter Solstice.” Anya tells the rest of our group.

“Oh, that’s cool.” Raven speaks up. “What do you do for Winter Solstice?”

I decide to take over and explain for them all.

“Winter Solstice is known as being the shortest day and longest night of the year, this year it’s on the twenty first of this month. It celebrates the rebirth of the sun and the beginning of winter. During the celebration of it, we spend time with family and connect with our ancestors and our culture. We usually spend time out in the woods for most of the time for a fire releasing ceremony and have a candlelight ceremony **(A/N: Candles guys)**.”

“Wow.” Octavia speaks up. “That sounds kinda fun.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask you, do you wanna come, ‘tavia?” Lincoln asks his girlfriend. She looks tentatively to the rest of our friends and her brother who nod in encouragement. She turns back to Lincoln and nods eagerly.

* * *

We stay for about another hour before I look at my watch and realize that I have to head out to go take my final exam. I say my goodbyes to the rest of the group and head towards the door but am stopped by someone grabbing my shoulder. When I turn around, it’s Clarke holding out the jacket I let her wear.

“I’m going to catch a ride from Lincoln and Octavia back to campus and I don’t want you to get too cold.” She tells me.

“Thanks.” I say before taking my jacket back. Our fingers graze each other slightly and I blush before slipping the jacket on. “I’ll see you later.”

On my way down the street I am preoccupied with thoughts about Clarke. ‘What is going on with me’ I think to myself. Before I even realize it, I’m standing in front of the building and rush in just in time to take an exam for calculus.

* * *

When I finish the exam I’m already miserable. Calculus is awful and I’m pretty sure that I bombed it. I sulk my way back to my dorm and flop onto my bed. Octavia isn’t in the room so I have some time to myself. I pull out my phone and headphones and plug them in before I begin to blast some new music that I’ve really been getting into. I close my eyes and subconsciously tap the beat on my thigh as I drift into sleep.

I’m jerked awake by Octavia standing over me smiling.

“I brought food.” She says before tossing the bag onto my lap. Still in a stupor I raise my hand to rub my eyes before I realize my glasses aren’t on my face. I thank her and begin to search for them, panic slowly rising because without them or my contacts I’m blind as a bat and I ran out of my prescription for my contacts. Octavia, seemingly noticing my panic gestures to the desk.

“Don’t freak, they’re over there. Someone must’ve stopped by and took them off for you.”

I nod in thanks and reach over to grab them before diving into the food my friend brought me.

* * *

The next day comes fast and officially being on a break, my family and friends spend our time in the apartment above Grounders which stays closed for the time being. Gustus and Nyko seem to enjoy the company of a bunch of rowdy college students. I enjoy myself watching Lincoln kiss the other guys’ asses in C.o.D and being smug about it before showing off and beating him, resulting in Octavia half dragging the man back to his room to do- I don’t even want to know what- leaving the rest of us laughing the entire way.

Slowly we disperse into our own little factions and go into different areas. Anya and Raven go in to our room to do- again I don’t even want to know what. It seems that since Thanksgiving they’ve hooked up, however they haven’t brought themselves to admit it, something that I have enjoyed teasing them both about.

Clarke and I split off and I take her downstairs so we have some peace from the ruckus. On our way down she takes my hand in her own and holds it the whole way down. We sit down at a booth and she still hasn’t let go of my hand-not that I mind, I really don’t- her hands are soft.

“Lexa?” Clarke speaks up, I look at her with not response for her to continue.

“I’m not going to get in the way of your holiday celebrations because it seems like something you really enjoy, but I was wondering if you would like to spend New Year’s with me before we have to go back to university-you can say no if you want to but it would mean a lot to me if you came.” She stutters. I run my thumb across her hand in a comforting gesture and look at the table.

This time of year tends to be rough for me, it always has been since Lincoln and I lost our parents. When this time of the year rolls around I am usually perfectly content with just isolating myself in my room for the week. But I don’t want to let Clarke down.

“I-I don’t know.” I tell her, her eyes snap up to mine, I can see sadness in them even though she’s trying to hide it. “I’ll think about it, okay. I’ll try to come.” I rush to console her. She smiles widely at this and my heart swells. She pulls me up from the booth by the hand she was still holding and pulls me into a hug.

“Thank you.” She whispers.

* * *

We spend a few more days with our friends before we send them off to be with their families. Bellamy and Clarke are the last ones to go to spend time with us and Octavia.

“I’ll be there for New Year’s.” She tells her brother as they hug and leads him to his car. We stand outside and watch them drive away before we head back inside.

“So…..What do we do now?” Octavia asks her boyfriend and he chuckles at her excitement to get started and explains the Yule log and other festivities.

Naturally it is mostly me and Anya that work on the log as the guys (Lincoln) explain what else is to come to Octavia and work on getting in contact with aunt Indra. Every once in a while Gustus will try to sneak into the kitchen and sneak a taste of the food resulting in Anya slapping his and away every time, at which he chuckles and walks away feigning innocence to the rest of the residents.

Once the Yule log is finished we leave it on a platter and cover it before gathering around the dining table we never use for the candlelight ceremony. Lincoln jogs to the other side of the room and turns off the lights and the candles are passed out. I receive the main candle and light it, giving a blessing before allowing the rest to light their candles with mine. After this as the sun begins to set and it starts to get dark outside we leave to head out to the woods where Nyko rushes ahead to start a fire.

Soon enough, it’s nearly pitch black outside sans the fire that illuminates us as we write down what we wish to release. We finish the ceremony soon and sit around the slowly fading fire as we take a moment for mine and Lincoln’s mother and father- something we have done for years now and has become part of our ritual. After this is over we return to Grounders and head inside.

* * *

The next morning Anya and I wake up and check on the Yule log. It’s something we normally save for the next day. It’s still intact so no one tried to get to it during the night. As she busies herself with making coffee I go to get ready for the day. I take a quick shower and put on a bare minimum of makeup and slip a beanie over my hair and make my way back into the kitchen where Anya and I switch places. I grab a cup of black coffee and make my way downstairs to open the diner.

While I’m brewing the diner’s coffee a few people start to filter in. They’re regulars so it’s no surprise. They tend to come in at the exact same time every day. The regulars are an old married couple and a group of three teenagers that came here together from an exchange program. I’ve been able to connect with them all during these days when I work. The elderly couple is very nice to me and both groups always leave generous tips, despite how we try to tell them it’s not necessary.

After 9:00 the elderly couple takes their leave just like every day talking about having to finish their decorations for their family’s celebration in a few days. Once they leave the trio left behind look solemn.

“What wrong guys?” I ask them, concerned.

“The holiday is coming up. I think we are all just starting to feel homesick right now not being with our families.” One of the girl’s answers in a thick French accent. I nod in understanding, despite the situations being different I still remember celebrating the holidays for the first time without my parents and it was difficult.

I smile at the three of them and rest my hand on the girl’s and smile up at her. “Well you’re always welcome here, you know. So are any of the others in the exchange community if you guys want to celebrate the holidays here we’ll be happy to provide.” I inform.

“But I thought you said your family does not celebrate this holiday.” Another girl who came from Brazil said. I nodded as confirmation.

“That’s true, we don’t but that doesn’t mean that we can’t provide solace to you guys here if it would make you feel a little less homesick. We all care about you. And besides, we’ll be open all week anyway for anyone else who doesn’t have anywhere to go and those who also don’t celebrate the holidays. Everyone is welcome here; you guys know that.” I reassure as I hear Anya descending down the stairs.

“You really mean that?” The last girl, who came from Norway, asked. I nod and smile at her and watch their faces light up when they realize how genuine I’m being.

“Hey girls.” I hear Anya greet from behind me. She’s really taken to them as I have. I step away to finish up at the register as she falls into conversation with the trio.

Before it can get too crowded, the girls take their leave, waving animatedly at us as we head back upstairs to get the rest of the family up and moving so we can take a break. When we make our way through the door, Lincoln and Octavia are already awake and making out on the couch.

“Ugh. Gross.” I hear Anya sneer as she walks by them and straight into the kitchen, I walk behind her and chuckle at her reaction, passing Lincoln and flicking him on the forehead. “

Yo, we’re on break and there’s no one downstairs, get to work.” I tell him. And go straight for the coffee maker for my second cup. “Good morning, Octavia.” I greet the girl with a smile when the couple breaks apart, blush covering both of their faces. Lincoln gets up to go do what Anya told him and I plop down on the couch next to Octavia. I wait until she turns her head before flashing her a smug grin. She rolls her eyes and shoves me off the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another time jump into Christmas break. I’m trying to get this up to the present date and probably end it by the fic’s start of summer vacation so I can work on other things. But that still means there are a lot of chapters yet to come.  
> I didn’t want Lexa’s family to celebrate Christmas because of grounder culture. Winter solstice is kind of more of an ancient holiday and tends to be very ritualistic and traditional so I thought that it would fit for them. Also I got all my info off of the internet, I do not celebrate Winter Solstice, so I might have gotten some things wrong. Next chapter will be up real soon.   
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year's chapter ayyyyy.

**Chapter 15**

* * *

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

The rest of the week goes by quickly and on the 28th our exchange student friends return later in the evening after we’ve closed with their host families there to provide their own nourishment for a late Christmas, explaining that the community had set up a bunch of activities to do and places to visit during the holiday but they still hadn’t really had a chance to celebrate. Along with them are a few other exchange students, a little nervous and quiet being here but we’re able to get them out of their shells. The whole evening is interesting but still fun, getting to connect with new people from so many different countries.

Once the students leave we get started on cleaning up the diner before locking up and heading upstairs. Lincoln and Octavia linger with the rest of us for a while in the night and we help them start to pack since Lincoln is driving Octavia up to Clarke’s for the New Year’s and staying with her in three days.

* * *

The day comes quickly and Octavia and Lincoln are loading up Lincoln’s car.

“Hey Lexa, I already asked Anya and I didn’t get a chance to ask you: do you wanna come with us?” Octavia asks out of the blue. I’m stunned and remain silent from the attention that is put on me.

“I-uh-I-I…” I stutter. I just can’t seem to get any words out. My thoughts aren’t even straight. Yes, I would love to go up there and see Clarke, but this has always been a rough time for me and it’s still not any easier for me.

“She’d love to.” Anya jumps in, appearing behind me and nearly giving me a heart attack. I look back at my cousin and she gives me a look telling me that this is what I need. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

“I don’t even have a packed bag.” I tell them trying to get out of it.

“No problem, we already got you covered.” Lincoln says grinning, lifting my bag up in the air before placing it in his car.

“Does Clarke’s family know. I don’t really want to be a burden.” I say nervously. Anya grabs my arm and rolls her eyes, dragging me to her car.

“Of course they know, Clarke already told them that you might be coming so they’re expecting you.” Octavia informs me. I sigh and reluctantly climb into the passenger seat of Anya’s car while Lincoln finishes packing up his car and he and Octavia climb in. Both cars start and before I notice, we’re on the road. There’s no way I could back out now even if I wanted to.

* * *

I fell asleep at some point during the trip but am woken up by Anya lightly nudging my shoulder.

“Hey, Lex. We’re here.” She tells me. I nod and crack my neck before looking at the time. Nearly 12:00 in the afternoon. The second I get out of the car to help get our things, I’m ambushed by someone wrapping their body around me. I’m momentarily stunned until I hear them speak,

“Lexy! I’m so glad you’re here!” I smile and my heart rate slows when I realize that it’s Clarke. I wait for her to let go before I turn to face her. Her cheeks and nose are tinted pink from the cold weather and she’s wearing sweat pants and a way too large sweatshirt. I wonder where that came from. A past boyfriend maybe?

“Oh my god, you have to come see the rest of us, and meet my mom and little cousin. You’ll really get a kick out of him.” She talks excitedly, taking me by the hands and walking backwards towards her house. I glance back at Anya, Lincoln, and Octavia.

“We got this stuff, don’t worry about it.” I hear Lincoln. I turn back to Clarke and focus on where we’re going. She slip on some ice in front of the porch steps and I just manage to catch her.

“How about we walk forwards now, huh?” She blushes and nods once she’s resituated and her feet are planted flat on the ground again. She takes hold of one of my hands and leads me up the steps and through the door.

In the kitchen we’re immediately greeted by a blonde woman who’s been busying herself trying to figure out the recipe to a dish, she looks up and smiles at the both of us, dusting her hands off on a towel and walking over to us, and holds out her hand for me to shake, which I do.

“Lexa, this is my mom: Dr. Abby Griffin. Mom, this is my friend Lexa that I told you about.” Clarke introduces us.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lexa. Clarke’s been talking about your arrival non-stop.” I hear Clarke grumble a “mooooom..” under her breath and chuckle.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Dr. Griffin.” I tell her.

“Oh please, call me Abby, Lexa.” She admonishes.

“Alright, Abby.”

After the introduction, Clarke drags me to her basement, where we’re met by the sounds of yelling and laughter mingling with playful screams. Clarke opens the door and we’re met with the sight of Raven being tossed in the air between Lincoln, Bellamy, and Wells. Clarke rolls her eyes and speaks up.

If you guys damage the ceiling light or the couch again, I’m not covering for you.” The boys settle down and set Octavia on her feet.

“Wow Clarke, glad to see how worried you are about my wellbeing.” She monotones, causing a few of us to chuckle. Clarke brings me to one of the couches in front of a flat screen TV that the guys have a video game set up on. As we pass they all greet me with a wave or a clap on the shoulder. Soon afterwards, everyone’s focus is brought back to the game on the TV.

I join them in the game hype when it had since switched to Grand Theft Auto. I could feel Clarke watching me closely even though my eyes were focused on the screen. Every once in a while she or Anya would speak up to make some sarcastic remark before Raven left with Anya on her tail and went who knows where.

After about two hours, Abby calls up from the kitchen that there’s food ready in the kitchen, and we race up the stairs in a stampede to be the first one. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until then. Clarke sat next to me and gently ate her vegetarian meal- I hadn’t realized that Clarke was a vegetarian- as I devour my own meal along with the guys.

After the hectic feast had settled down, I was introduced to Marcus, Clarke’s step-father. He seemed really kind and genuinely cared for Clarke. Once he had walked over to Abby, Clarke pulled me to the side.

“I want you to meet one more person, would you be okay with that?” She asks seriously. I silently nod and wait for her to continue.

“Well, they’re not here, actually. It’s kind of a drive to get to them.” She looks away shyly.

“That’s okay.” I tell her. “I’d love to meet them, just let me grab a coat and then we can go.” I squeeze her hand comfortingly before breaking off to grab a coat, and soon meet her by the front door and we head out.

* * *

**Clarke P.O.V.**

The drive starts out silent and slightly uncomfortable.

“How about we play some music?” I suggest, Lexa nods in agreement and I turn her phone and Bluetooth speaker on and a familiar tune begins to play through the speakers, gradually getting louder as I turn it up. I feel Lexa look over to me to and give her a smug grin, her spirits seem to have been lifted, as have mine. Once the lyrics start, we both immediately jump in.

“How does a ragtag, volunteer army in need of a shower, somehow defeat a global superpower? How do we emerge victorious from the quagmire? Leave the battlefield waving Betsy Ross’ flag high? Yo. Turns out we have a secret weapon. An immigrant you know and love who’s unafraid to step in. He’s constantly confusing, confounding the British henchmen. EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVOURITE FIGHTING FRENCHMAN!” When Lafayette’s rap begins, I stop but Lexa continues much to my amazement. When the song finally finishes, Lexa looks over at me while I stare at her with my mouth gaping.

“Dude, how the hell did you do that? That was impressive!” I ask, shocked. Lexa simply shrugs. “I really like Hamilton.” She tells me.

“Well so do I but I can never get that part.” She shrugs again at this and we move on to the next song.

The drive doesn’t take too much longer after that and after fifteen minutes, we pull up at the destination. A graveyard. My attitude quickly becomes sad serious once again and I step out of the car.

Lexa walks silently behind me, probably confused as to exactly what we’re doing here. I stop when we reach one of the gravestones. I watch Lexa read the name engraved on the stone and watch as it clicks in her brain.

_Jake Griffin._

_An amazing father and husband._

I slowly kneel down in front of the grave and looks up at her expectantly. She kneels down next to me as I start to talk.

“Hey dad, it’s me. I brought a friend with me too this time. I met her at college. Conveniently, she had already known Octavia.” I chuckle sadly.

“Her name is Lexa. And she’s a wonderful person and I really wanted her to meet you, dad.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. Griffin. You have a wonderful daughter and I’m very glad I get to be her friend. She’s such an amazing person and I believe that that’s probably something she got from you. You and your wife raised her amazingly.” Lexa speaks up. Talking to him as if she was just sitting in front of him on the couch after he just questioned her intentions with me as her friend. I can’t help but look at her with amazement with how supportive she’s being and how willing she was to put up with this. Tears well in my eyes and I can’t keep them back. Lexa notices and grabs me by the shoulders, pulling us both up off the snow covered ground and onto a bench underneath one of the trees.

“It just hurts so much.” I sob as I throw myself into her chest. I feel her wraps her arms around me and run her fingers through my hair as she whispers words of comfort.

“I just feel like now that he’s gone, he means nothing anymore. All that he did, all of his life means nothing now.” Lexa wraps her arms tighter around me as I sob into her chest. As she soothes me, I can hear her whisper into my ear.

“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here we go, New Years. Not really but after this I’ll be all caught up and can get back to posting chapters at regular time, so leave me suggestions of things to happen in the future, or ideas for other fics. After this I’ll be posting the other chapter to The Ink is a Souvenir. Sorry about the delay, I really needed to take the weekend to myself and editing 5 chapters and more takes time, on top of the fact that we now are in spring forward and I am EXHAUSTED. So yeah, I’m not using those as an excuse but that’s what’s been going on. Also I’m writing a research paper due on today so I had dedicated the entire week to that.  
> The quote is by Rabindranath Tagore  
> Have you guys seen the video where Alycia Debnam-Carey rapping to doo wop. If not, you should look up those exact words, it’s beautiful- I love it. Also, you guys like my Hamilton reference??? Huhhuhhuh. God I’ve seriously been obsessed with it since January- yes I got in really late but I haven’t been able to stop listening to the soundtrack since then and I have Thomas Sanders to blame for that. The Ink is a Souvenir chapter 2 will be up soon as well as a few others that I wrote in my spare time.  
> So, until then, peace  
> -Ted


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year's and poor Monty. Things will get better for him, I promise, but not before they get bad (not necessarily worse, just not nice- a warning)

**Chapter 16**

* * *

 

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

After she introduced me to her father and the moment we had, Clarke and I made our way back to her car. The drive back to her house was silent, but peaceful. She was slowly coming back to herself.

When we pulled into her driveway and got out of the car I grabbed her hand in a gesture of comfort. Her eyes locked with mine in this moment that we shared, silently saying thank you. Unfortunately, the moment was ruined by screams and squeals from inside the house. Without a second through we rushed inside and made our way downstairs where the rest of our friends were.

We were met with the sight of Raven’s and Octavia’s glee filled faces staring at one of the other couples in the room. Jasper and Maya. She must have arrived while we were gone. I’ve never met her before but I’ve heard about her many times from everyone. They had been together for years, made it through high school together.

We directed our attention to the couple to see Maya standing in front of Jasper who had dropped down on one knee and was holding a ring. Tears were in her eyes as we made it down just in time to see her nod her head yes, too choked up to even speak. Jasper slipped the ring on her finger and they shared a passionate kiss.

After the room had calmed down we all congratulated the couple. Monty had been the first one to and Jasper, wanting to include his friend, explained that Monty had helped pick out the ring. Maya graciously hugged him, which he returned with some unrecognizable emotion on his face. When they broke apart he stepped to the side so the rest of us could congratulate the two of them.

After Clarke and I did so I looked over to where Monty was sitting on a couch at the far end of the room. I nudged Clarke and brought her attention to the boy. We made our way over to him and took seats on either side of him. I couldn’t stand to see him with that solemn expression on his face.

“You alright there, pal?” Clarke asked softly. Monty nodded yes but I wasn’t convinced. Neither was Clarke.

“What’s wrong, you look sad.” I asked, Monty sighed.

“I’m fine. I’m happy for them, really…Jasper is my best friend and I’ve really grown to like Maya and I’m happy that they’re together, but i…” He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. I nodded in understanding. He didn’t need to finish.

It’s understandable that Monty would feel this way. He’s been the third wheel to his best friend and his girlfriend for so long, and now it’s going to be official. And it’s not that he’s jealous or anything about Jasper having a girlfriend. No, it’s not a secret that Monty’s gay and he’s had boyfriends before. He’s not jealous of them having each other, he’s sad about having Jasper being taken from him. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together when you see how Monty stares at him. It breaks my heart that it turned out this way for him.

The excitement in the room had died down and our friends went back to what they had been doing before the proposal. I looked over to Anya, who had Raven in her lap and was sharing playing the game up on the screen in front of her with her arms around the girl. Even though I’ll never get her to admit it to me, she’s happy with Raven. Genuinely happy, and I haven’t seen that in a while.

She grinned smugly when she beat Bellamy at the one on one. Raven gave her a peck on the cheek which led to her grin falling and blush taking over her face.

* * *

Our little gathering went on into the late night, and at some point someone had turned on blaring music “to get us into the mood” as we reached midnight, the TV on so we could watch the ball drop.

The excitement seemed to momentarily distract Monty as he grinned at the couples that were reaffirming together as the countdown began.

_5…._

_4…._

_3…._

_2…._

_1…._

The ball dropped and everyone shared a kiss in celebration of the new year, the lights going off momentarily courtesy of Monty. Before I could even think, I felt someone’s lips on my own. I panicked for a moment at the unexpected contact but didn’t pull away. I didn’t want to. The lights came back on as everyone pulled away, including me and the person in front of me, despite how much I didn’t want to. I was able to get a look at the person- at Clarke, who was now blushing a furious bright red. I grinned at her.

Monty walked away to hang out with the rest of our friends. Now not feeling the pressure of staying down here, I took Clarke by the hand and led her upstairs, letting her take the lead and dragging me to her room once we were alone. All traces of anxiety were gone in this moment and I knew what was going through my mind. I want her.

I need her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys, there were a lot of things that were interfering. I didn’t have a good internet connection at all last week, I had to do the homework we were given over break, on top of the fact that I have to participate in life. L also have been struggling with writers block so I didn’t get the amount that I wanted to done. But I’m not here to make excuses, the other chapters should be up by tomorrow at the latest.   
> Sorry this chapter’s kinda short, like I said: writer’s block. Sex is implied at the end. I don’t think I’m ever going to write any actual sex scenes in, just implied ones.   
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shipping. Poor Monty, still. Clexa wants to make him feel better (not in that way pervs).

**Chapter 17**

* * *

 

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

I woke up wrapped in someone’s embrace. In my dazed state I tried to put the pieces of last night back together. As I come to my senses I realize that I’m lacking clothes, confused now I begin to sit up, the arms that were around me loosen and I look at the other person. It’s Clarke in a similar state to me. Any panic that had been building up vanished at that. I laid back down in the bed as the events of last night came back to me. Jasper and Maya getting engaged, Monty’s solemn face, the ball dropping, our kiss, and finally me and Clarke dragging each other here.

I don’t know how long I stayed laying there, I was entranced by her features as she slept. She looked so peaceful. I lifted a hand to brush a stray hair away from her face and she finally began to stir.

“G’morning.” She mumbled, a goofy smile appearing on her face, I can’t hide my own at that.

“Good morning.” I reply

“Have you been awake long?” She asks me, I shake my head no. I grab my glasses and put them on.

* * *

Eventually we make our way out of the bed and redress ourselves, and awkward but comfortable air fills the room. As we exit the room and make our way downstairs we’re greeted by Abby and Monty at the kitchen’s island, and Octavia and Lincoln on the couch across from it in the living room. The smell of food makes its way over to us and I realize just how hungry I am. Clarke and I grab our own plates-provided by Abby- of hot pancakes and bacon and eggs. We make our way over to Lincoln and Octavia’s couch and sit next to them.

As I engross myself in the food in front of me-which tastes like heaven- I see Octavia look at us, or more rather, Clarke- out of the corner of my eye. She’s grinning at her smugly and it only grows as we nod to the question we know is on her mind.

"Oh man. Raven is really going to get a kick out of teasing you both to no end.” She says, laughing to herself.

"You better watch it, Blake.” I warn her. “Or I’ll tell her about what you guys did back at our place before we came here. I’m sure Raven would love to hear about Linctavia’s growth.” I say, using the “ship name” that Raven had awarded the couple a while back. She glares at me and Clarke playfully as I hear Clarke whisper an “Oh snap!” from behind me.

We get into a friendly game of teasing with the other couple and in the middle of it, I glance over to the island where Monty had been when Clarke and I had entered. He’s still there, looking kind of morose. I guess he’s still bummed about last night. I nudge Clarke with my elbow, to which she playfully glares at me before I gesture over to the sulking boy with my head and she seems to understand. After we finish joking with Linctavia and eating, we make our way over to the boy, who it seems Abby had been trying to console. Does she know what happened? I wouldn’t be surprised if she did. We take her place and sit on opposite sides of him. I comfortingly pat him on the back as Clarke pulls him into a hug.

“We should go out and do something.” I suggest. “I don’t want to see you moping for the rest of the time here.” I gently knock shoulders with him at this, causing him to smile. It’s genuine though, out of all the people of our group that I didn’t already know, I’ve always been the most comfortable with Monty.

“I’m not moping.” He says before knocking me back. I roll my eyes and pat him on the back again. “Sure you aren’t.”

* * *

 

As other people begin to wake up and make their way upstairs, Clarke and I walk back to her room to have privacy and get ready for the day. We decided that we were going to spend the day with Monty and we meant it.

I put on grey whitewashed jeans and combat boots on with a red and black sweat jacket and a paramour t-shirt underneath. Finally, I slip on a brown beanie to cover my hair to avoid having to braid it today. Once I finish I look over to Clarke who is wearing dark skinny jeans with blue converse and black sweater over a long sleeve dark blue shirt.

We make our way down the stairs hand I hand once again and are met with knowing looks from Raven, Anya, and Jasper. We both shoot glares over to Linctavia who have moved to the kitchen. Monty is the only one not upstairs, I notice as we wait for him. Raven walks over to us.

“So, it’s official now, is it?” Raven asks, smugly. We nod and she grins widely.

“Looks like you two need an official ship name now. I’m thinking…..mmmmmm…….Clexa! It’s perfect.”

“You’d better watch it.” I chide the girl. “Don’t think that none have us have noticed yours and Anya’s blossoming relationship either. Especially when Anya can’t shut up about it at home.” I grin back at her smugly. Anya glares at me from her place a few feet behind Raven and I shrug it off. Clarke jumps in at my side.

“Yeah you guys still don’t have a ship name.” She states. As she says this, I see Linctavia approach us, matching smirks on their faces. They’re on our side. They stand next to us and we stare at the third couple like we’re judging them.

“Anven?” Lincoln suggests helpfully. We shake our heads no at that. Clarke snaps ups and grins widely.

“Ranya.” She states. The grin on my own face grows as I stare back at the two. “Perfect. Ranya it is.” I declare, enjoying the uncomfortable looks on the girls’ faces. As Clarke and I make our way past them I watch Anya run her finger across her neck threateningly and laugh. She should know by now that she doesn’t scare me like that anymore.

Clarke and I stand by the top of the stairs as Monty makes his way up in a blue and tan sweat jacket over a Super Mario Bros. t-shirt and jeans. Once he’s ready we make our way out the door and into Clarke’s car.

“So where to first?” She asks Monty. We decided that today we’d be going to all of Monty’s favourite places to help him feel better. We know it’s not going to work entirely, we know it isn’t going to fix everything because what he really wants is no longer available, but we can at least make him feel a little better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys I’m back, hopefully I’ll be able to get more chapters in really soon but just letting you know that I probably will not be on tomorrow because I’m getting ready to take the medical board exam. I’ve also binge watched all of Once Upon a Time last week so I’m probably going to start writing about that when I get the chance.  
> I decided that whenever I’m referring to any two people who I just so happen to ship (like Clarke and Lexa, or Lincoln and Octavia) I’m just going to use the ship name because that would just make it so much easier for me to write.   
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa spend time with Monty, and Jasper has a question.

**Chapter 18**

* * *

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

The first place we go is the comic book store, Monty had been a little hesitant to bring it up, be we reassured him that we were going wherever he wanted. I watched him fawn over the new issues of different comics with a smile on my face. I stood by the counter and looked over to where Clarke had run off to. She was just a few feet away fawning over a comic she thought had been discontinued. They’re such nerds I snorted as Clarke came bounding over to me with a thick graphic novel in her hands.

“Hey Lexa, check out what they have.” She says cheerily, turning it to show me the cover. I gape at it, causing Clarke to giggle as I take it from her.

“I need it.” I say mostly to myself. It’s the only issue of The Walking Dead graphic novel that I don’t have. It’s not rare or anything, just, whenever I go somewhere to buy it, it’s not there. It’s no secret how big of a TWD fan I am. I fell in love with the plot for it, the idea of a zombie apocalypse. I immediately buy the graphic novel and Monty appears behind me, holding a few comics of his own choosing, to buy.

After the comic book store we made our way to an arcade and were able to enjoy ourselves at simple games as we listened to Monty cream anyone that went against him in one of the games. We joined the crowd that had gathered around him as he beat every challenger. Damn. It’s no wonder he’s so good at playstation.

* * *

Most of the time is spent at the arcade and after that we just make our way to the local park. It turns out to be mainly just forest, which appeases me. Monty explains that before college he liked to come here when he wanted or needed to think and be alone. I was genuinely touched that he shared it with us, that he trusted us, while he was hurting. It was nice to see the smile return to his face throughout the day.

The sun began to set and the cold winter day came to a close, we started back towards Clarke’s house. Getting to make Monty happy brings a smile to my face. I know that he’s not better, that he’s still hurting, but Clarke and I were at least able to take some of that away today.

When we made it back, we took note that Marcus and Abby had left, leaving the entire house to us “children”, something that we would all realize later was probably a bad idea.

The three of us walked inside and were brought face to face with Raven who nearly toppled onto us. She smiled dopily.

“Hey…~ Look whose back!” She announced to the rest of the group. She was drunk.

That’s when I took in the alcohol in the room, which wouldn’t come as a surprise to me, we’d been drinking this whole entire time I’ve been here at least, a few beers, some of us had wine, but this was different. This was vodka and moonshine- where did they even get moonshine? - and hard liquor.

Thankfully, not everyone is drunk. I take not of the four people sitting on the couch, Bellamy, Anya, Lincoln, and Maya were still sober, seemingly letting the drunks, Wells, Maya, Octavia, Jasper, Raven, and Murphy, stumble around doing what they want.

As we step more into the house, an arm is haphazardly thrown around Monty’s shoulders and he freezes for a brief moment.

“Hey~ buddy~.” Jasper slurs, chin resting on Monty’s shoulder. “You know you’re my best friend, right?” Monty nods meekly, and Jasper continues.

“Great….’Cuz I have a propo-prop…..pr….proposition for you.” He finally gets out, and drags the boy to the kitchen, seemingly unaware that we can still all hear what he has to say, or see them for that matter.

“Alright so listen,” He begins, putting his hand on Monty’s chest and looking up at him from his slouched position. “You’re….you’re my best friend. You helped me through a lot of break ups. Like a lot of breakups-“ He doesn’t seem to notice Monty wince at that. “-and you’ve always been there for me. Hell you helped me pick out Maya’s ring. And you trusted me with your biggest secret, that you’re….ya know, gay. Even though you were freaking the entire time. And that means a lot to me.” He pats his friend comfortingly. “So….i was wondering if…if you would be my best man?”

The room is silent as everyone stares at Monty now. I acknowledge how Monty winces again and his posture becomes stiff as he nods.

Jasper drunkenly grins. “I knew it, thanks buddy. I knew I could count on a friend like you!” Monty just stiffly nods once again at that and releases himself from Jasper’s hold before walking away, hurt evident on his face now. I stare at his retreating form and feel for him. Clarke and I immediately go after him as everyone else continues to just stare and what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you guys know that while I do ship Jasper with Maya, I also ship Jasper with Monty. I’m not exactly sure which one I’m going to make endgame just yet, but there will probably be a few Jonty scenes in the future.  
> So this chapters kinda short, sorry. Dealing with writers block really sucks and for some things I get past it but for other things, like where Clarke and Lexa took Monty, I just kept drawing blanks. Next chapter is going to continue on with this.   
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jasper-Monty conflict.

**Chapter 19**

* * *

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

Clarke and I went after Monty, who had made his way downstairs, leaving a confused, drunk Jasper behind in the hands of Maya along with the others.

Monty was holed up on the recliner in the corner of the room. Clarke and I silently approached him and sat down next to him.

“I really am happy for him- both of them.” He spoke abruptly. We remained silent, encouraging him to continue.

“I do want him to be able to find happiness, and he has. I just never realized that it would hurt this much for me. I don’t hate Maya. She’s really nice and she clearly loves him, and he loves her. They’re going to have a great life together.”

“But, Monty, their happiness shouldn’t mean your pain.” Clarke interjected. “You deserve to be happy too.” He chuckled softly at this.

“Yeah, well…That’s kinda difficult when the one that made me happy is engaged….moving on with his life and leaving me behind.”

“C’mon bud. You know that’s not true. I know that you loved him for a long time but if there’s one thing I ‘ve learned in my experience, it’s that if you loved once, you can love again. Even despite how much it hurt to lose the love the first time, to be betrayed…Once you push past that, finding love again is easy and when you find it you won’t regret it.” I say, glancing to Clarke as I speak.

“That’s easy for you to say.” Monty sighed. “You already found your love for the second time. I don’t even know where I’d start. Sure I’ve dated guys before but I’ve been in love with Jasper for so long that it wouldn’t feel right.”

“You what?” A voice spoke up from behind us, we all turned our heads to the source at the bottom of the stairs.

Shit.

Jasper.

Monty shot up abruptly at the voice as the owner slowly approached the three of us.

“You _what_?” Jasper repeated. He seemed considerably soberer **(A/N: I fucking hate English grammar. I feel like it should be “more sober” but according to my computer, that’s wrong)** than before, but based on how that went, it’s not really saying much.

Jasper made his way past me and Clarke as we stood in front of Monty and was face to face with him as Monty stuttered and struggled to think of a response. Jasper was starting to get angry for a reason I wasn’t exactly sure of.

“I-I-I-I said I in love with you.” Monty finally admitted. What came next was a shove that none of us expected. Exclamations shot out of mine and Clarke’s mouths as we tried to get in between them. Monty, who had fallen over from the shove, remained where he sat on the floor, along with a lamp that had fallen and crashed with him.

Jasper got passed us once again and went face to face with Monty before pulling him up. It was dead silent. We could hear feet trampling overhead as our friends headed for the stairs. They must’ve heard the crash and our shouts. Their feet on the stairs was the only thing that dared to break the silence. They entered the room by the time Jasper finally spoke.

“I accepted you. When you came out, I supported you, I stood by you and was there for you when you came out to your mom because you were scared. And I was there when she kicked you out for three months because of it. I let you live in my house! I never let this get in the way of our friendship and I thought you wouldn’t either. But that is messed up. I’m in love with Maya. I’m straight. Now I don’t care who you throw your gay intentions on next, just as long as it’s not me. We’re done.” **(A/N: I know, Jasper’s being a real dick to Monty right now. But he’s drunk and conflicted about a lot of things. It’s gonna get better though, I just had to get this out of the way)**

Bellamy put his hand on Jasper’s shoulder, slowly trying to lead him away. Monty opened his mouth and tried to speak.

“Jasper, I-“

“Don’t fucking talk to me, fag!” Jasper shouted, shoving Bellamy away. Jasper was breathing heavily as he glared at Monty. Maya finally made her way past the others and put her hand on Jasper’s back. The contact made him flinch before he finally started to relax.

“I think we should probably go.” She spoke softly to him as she guided him away, shooting Monty an apologetic look on their way back up the stairs. Once again, the room was silent. No one wanted to speak.

The only sound that broke the silence were Monty’s cries as he finally broke, sinking onto the couch. No one really knew what to do, we figured it was best to leave the boy alone and began to disperse. Bellamy grabbed a broom and dustpan and cleaned up the broken lamp that now lay at Monty’s feet. Clarke and I made out way back upstairs.

No one spoke for the rest of that night.

* * *

 

The next morning, I was woken by a hand on my bare back, tracing the pattern on it.

“What do your tattoos mean?” I heard Clarke’s sleep filled voice ask.

“That’s a story for another time.” I responded as she pulled her hand away and I rolled onto my back.

“Poor Monty.” She spoke. I only nodded in agreement.

What’s going to happen now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I’m back. Sorry it took me so long to update, I got swamped with school work, preparing for the boards, and I’m in a variety show that my school is rehearsing. Just life in general man. And I’m still really struggling with writer’s block. I think I might put this on a hiatus soon and work on some other fics until I get some inspiration. If I do, then it shouldn’t be for too long.  
> Fuck did I ever actually mention Lexa’s tattoos? I don’t remember. If I haven’t before I am now, here you go. Also, before I think about writing it, how do you guys think Jasper’s parents would react to LGBTQ (+) people, like would they be all religious or against it or what. I want your opinions.   
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted


	20. Author's note

**Just taking the time to let you know that I will try to write these next chapters non-stop next week because I’ll be on spring break.**

**I also wanted to take the time to say that I hope everyone that was in the area in London during the attack yesterday is okay.**

**So, until next time, peace**

**-Ted**


	21. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke run into someone from Lexa's past  
> *Going on a temporary hiatus*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as I said, I’m gonna put this on a temporary hiatus. I’m kinda falling out of the fandom so I have to get back in and get that inspiration back. I don’t know when I’m going to come back to this again, but I promise it won’t be like…years down the road or something. In the meantime, when I have the chance I’ll be working on other fics, most likely one-shots. So leave suggestions of what they should be about please.  
> So, until next time, peace  
> -Ted

**Chapter 20**

* * *

 

**Lexa’s P.O.V.**

Winter break ended shortly after that and before we knew it, we were back at the university. Things were still tense; after that day we haven’t heard anything from Jasper. Occasional check-ins from Maya, since she is our friend also, but they’re rare. The whole situation has really taken a toll on Monty, he started failing classes and there were days where we wouldn’t see him at all and would have to go to his dorm to make sure he was still okay.

Clarke and I have been growing as a couple, however. The last week of January, I took her on our first date, first dinner, then to an art museum she had been talking non-stop to Raven about wanting to go to. After that, we made our way back to our dorms, where we binge watched Netflix shows on my laptop. Octavia was with my brother so we didn’t have to worry about her for the night.

Despite the whole Monty-Jasper thing, things had been going pretty well, or so I thought.

Clarke and I had been walking around the campus, us both not having classes for a while. She was telling me a story of Octavia and Raven when they were younger-something that I’ll definitely use as blackmail against Octavia next time I walk in on another one of her sessions with Lincoln.

We weren’t looking where we were going and walked straight into another couple.

“Watch where you’re going, branwoda.” One of them spat out. _(Fool)_

I unconsciously flinched at the familiar voice. I hesitantly lifted my head to stare at its source, met with a piercing glare back at me. I grasped Clarke’s hand and felt her squeeze mine in comfort.

“Lexa.” The girl in front of me said simply. I didn’t know that she was hear. I remember Ontari telling me that Costia was going to visit, but I figured that I had just missed her whenever she did.

“Costia.” I greeted back with a nod. “What are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” She sneered. “I’m here for Ontari. She is my girlfriend after all.” She spoke with a sly grin, accentuating the word ‘girlfriend’, the girl mentioned leaning up against a nearby tree, looking smug. “What are you doing here?” She shot back.

“I got a scholarship here, actually. They really liked me at my last high school game.” She looked uninterested as I spoke but I ignored it. I wasn’t going to let her see me as small and weak anymore.

“Huh, I never would’ve guessed. Are you sure it wasn’t just pity they felt, orphan?”

Ouch.

That one actually hurt.

Before I could respond, Clarke stepped in front of me.

“How about you watch what you say, bitch.” She said, arm stretched out protectively in front of me.

“And who is this, Lexa? Your girlfriend?” She asked snobbishly.

“Actually yes.” Clarke responded. “I am her girlfriend. And you do not want to get on my bad side, but you’re dangerously close to that edge.” Costia leaned in close to Clarke at this.

“Let me give you a warning, then. She’s only dating you to use you, so that she has someone to complain to. She doesn’t care about how you’re feeling. It’s all about her.”

A noise, almost like a snarl, came from Clarke’s throat. I put my hand on her shoulder to keep her from doing something she would regret.

“I suggest you leave. Now.” She growled.

We watched as Costia rolled her eyes before taking Ontari by the hand and walking away. Clarke was still breathing heavily, still riled up.

Clarke turned to me suddenly and wrapped her arms around me. Only then did I realize that I was shaking, and the blood that was dripping from my palms where my nails had been digging into them.

“Next time I see that bitch; I’m decking her in the face.” Clarke whispered in my ear, causing me to chuckle a little before pulling away, my panic slowly fading.

After that, Clarke wrapped her arm around my waist and we made our way to Grounders, the place we were closest to, to calm down and treat my bleeding hands. I rested my head on her shoulder as we walked, exhausted from that small interaction and the memories that were brought up.

Once we made our way in Grounders, we were greeted by the bustle of people at different tables and Gustus shouting back orders to Nyko, as well as all of our friends (minus Jasper and Maya) already at our regular table, enjoying themselves. Anya had Raven pulled onto her lap, as did Lincoln with Octavia. As we made our way over to them, our mood trailed behind us, it was clear they could all sense it. Lincoln was the one to speak up.

“You guys okay?” He asked, rolling his eyes at my noncommittal shrug.

“What happened?”

“……Costia.” I responded after a moment.

“What about Costia?” He asked, concerned now and trying to get more information.

“She’s here.”

Octavia slipped off of Lincoln’s lap and wrapped me in a hug, knowing my history with Costia. It was then that she noticed my hands.

“Why don’t we go patch these up?” She suggested, leading me up the stairs. I followed without a word.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V.**

I watched as the two of them made their way up the stairs, giving us the space so I could explain what happened without having to worry about Lexa for the moment. The group was silent as they waited for me to explain.

“Like Lexa said, Costia’s here. We were walking around the campus when we walked literally straight into her. Her and Ontari to be exact. They’re together. Something Costia took great pride in shoving in Lexa’s face. Lexa seemed fine at first, dealing with her calmly, and then…….Costia called her an orphan.” I paused for a moment, taking in their reactions. Lincolns eyes were wide with surprise and anger, Anya pretty much the same, clenching and unclenching her hands. The rest were seething in silent rage.

“That’s when I stepped in.” I continued.“I wasn’t going to just sit back at that point. I let her know that I was Lexa’s girlfriend and that I wasn’t going to stand for that kind of treatment. Then she claimed she was going to do me a favor and proceeded to tell me how ‘she’s only dating you to use you, to complain to you, your feelings don’t matter to her.” I took a moment to calm my breath, getting myself upset once again.

“I was about ready to knock her in her pretty little face, but Lexa stopped me before I could. So I told them to leave. When they did, I went and turned around to her. Lexa was shaking like a leaf. Barely looked like she was keeping herself up. I held her until she calmed down a little bit and then we left, and that’s where we are now.” I finished.

My friends remained in silence, processing the information I had just provided. They were all seething in their seats. However, they quickly masked their rage when we heard footsteps coming down the stairs and Octavia emerged, resting her hands on Lexa’s shoulders. They separated and Octavia made her way back to Lincoln’s lap. Lexa took the free chair next to mine as we began to dive back into regular conversation. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lincoln subtly whisper that he would explain it all to Octavia later. I turned my focus back to the topic at hand. It was currently an argument of who was better: Superman or Batman.

“Batman. Definitely.” I heard Lexa speak up suddenly. No explanation following that.

“I totally agree, Batman’s way better.” I jumped in.

Underneath the table I grabbed her hand, to let her know I was here for her.

She didn’t pull away.


	22. Author Note

Hey guys, I’m back for a short period of time for now to say that I’m not going to continue writing this. I’ve just fallen out of the fandom right now and can’t find the motivation to write. So now this fic is going on an indefinite hiatus which honestly saddens me because I didn’t want to be that person that writes a really long fic then just stops and never goes back to it. Maybe one day I’ll get back to it but I don’t know when that would be, if it would ever happen.

I think my problem with writing this was just that I set the bar too high and expected too much of myself and I wasn’t able to get where I wanted to be. I’ll still write fics, hopefully I’ll be able to post one that has been in my file for a while now somewhere around mid-June, but don’t get your hopes up. Despite having finished high school, I might not have a lot of time on my hands to update regularly, but I’ll try to. I’m also most likely just going to be sticking with one-shots/ two-shots until I get to a point where I can commit to writing something longer.

So yeah….Sorry to anyone that was enjoying this fic but I just can’t find it in me to continue it at this time.

So, until next time, peace

-Ted


End file.
